Neglecting Yourself Doesnât Make You a Better Mother Showering and eating regularly can be a form of self-care. Credit...Loris Lora Feb. 10, 2021 Before even becoming a parent, I was conditioned to believe that good mothers always put themselves dead last. At a college reunion years ago, I complimented a former classmate, a mother of three, on how strong she looked. She shrugged it off: âOh, thatâs because I never take time to make myself food. I just eat scraps off the kidsâ plates.â Years later, when I was pregnant with my son, Isaac, friends who were already moms eyed my bump and advised me to take as many showers as possible before the birth because I wouldnât have time later. âWelcome to the club,â they said. It felt like hazing.