Bryan Bedder/Getty Images for THR Big, lofty goals can be demotivating — try focusing on how you want to feel in the moment instead. Melinda Gates does this by choosing a 'word of the year' instead of making New Year's resolutions. Gates says focusing her attention on the moment creates more powerful change than a long-term goal. Those who dream big dreams are often advised to set big goals. But there are a few big problems with big goals. First, they can be demotivating. People stumble and give up hope, or feel their destination is too far away to even attempt to reach.