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Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20240714

Jimmy thank you very much. Welcome, everybody welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome. Welcome to the tonight show. This is it [ cheers and applause youre here. You made it. Thank you very much. You guys, this is fun. Shark week is officially here steve yeah [ cheers ] jimmy and if youre excited about that, youre either a marine biologist or really high [ light laughter ] i read that shark week started back in 1988 yeah its been around for over 30 years even crazier, theyve just been airing the same ten shows and nobodys noticed [ laughter ] get this, every year there are about 80 unprovoked shark attacks. Yeah, 80 unprovoked attacks. Or as President Trump calls that, a weekend. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] actually trump loves shark week. Its the one time he can tweet, i love great whites, without being called a racist. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter and applause steve really jimmy speaking of the president , the other day he invited some re ....

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Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20240714

A guy can dream, said trump, with his two projectiles [ laughter ] reporters have found that a doctored version of the president ial seal was projected behind President Trump at an event earlier this week, which featured a twoheaded Russian Eagle clutching a set of golf clubs and a banner reading 45 is a puppet in spanish. [ laughter ] hmm. Somebody doesnt like trump and also speaks spanish . Busted [ laughter and applause according to reports, Rudy Guiliani is serving as President Trumps lawyer for free well, i think we can all agree he is worth every penny. [ laughter and applause thats right guiliani is serving as trumps lawyer for free. Well, actually, what trump said is, you can bill me all you want but i am never going to pay you. [ laughter and applause accor ....

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Transcripts For WRC Late Night With Seth Meyers 20240714

That is great to hear. In that case, lets get to the news officials in south korea announced yesterday that north korea fired two uniden the sea. Jectiles into a guy can dream, said trump, with his two projectiles [ laughter ] reporters have found that a doctored version of the president ial seal was projected behind President Trump at an event earliethis week, which featured a twoheaded Russian Eagle clutching a set of golf clubs and a banner reading 45 is a puppet in spanish. [ laughter ] hmm. Somebody doesnt like trump and also speaks spanish, busted [ laughter and applause according to reports, Rudy Guiliani is serving as s President Trumpwyer for free well, i think we can all agree he is worth every penny. [ laughter ] thatsight guiliani is serving as trumps la ....

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Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20240714

Jimmy oh, my goodness. Thank you very much. [ cheers and applause i feel the love. I feel the love out there. Thank you very much. Please, welcome. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. Please, have a seat. Guys, we got a long show tonight. Yeah you dont want to stand for the whole thing. Yeah, no [ laughter ] we have a great show tonight i am so excited and fired up to be here. Im pretty much the opposite of Robert Mueller i really am. [ laughter ] everyone is still talking about muellers testimony. Democrats were hoping it would, quote, breathe life into the effort to impeach trump. But afterwards they were like, forget impeachment, someone should try to breathe life into Robert Mueller. [ laughter ] thats right both democrats and republicans thought mueller came off as slow and old im not saying mueller was bad but he made
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Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20240714

Hows everybody doing tonight . [ cheers and applause that is great to hear. In that case, lets get to the news officials in south korea announced yesterday that north korea fired two unidentified projectiles into the sea. A guy can dream, said trump, with his two projectiles [ laughter ] reporters have found that a doctored version of the president ial seal was projected behind President Trump at an event earlier this week, which featured a twoheaded Russian Eagle clutching a set of golf clubs and a banner reading 45 is a puppet in spanish. [ laughter ] hmm. Somebody doesnt like trump and also speaks spanish, busted [ laughter and applause according to reports, Rudy Guiliani is serving as President Trumps lawyer for free well, i think we can all agree he is worth ev ....

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