Page 14 - Daniel Bergner News Today : Breaking News, Live Updates & Top Stories | Vimarsana

young people, people used to buy music. '70s were a crazy time. (laughter) although he's often called a living legend, sir paul's rise to fame began as a simple tale of a 15-year-old left-handed guitarist who dropped by a garden party to see the quarrymen. he joined the band that became the beatles then conquered the world planting apple seeds with babe, the big blue ox. eventually paul left the beatles to join the argonauts. (laughter) eventually throwing all of his gold records into mount doom. (laughter) and i cannot wait for tonight's performances. you name an instrument and paul...

(cheers and applause) >> stephen: whoo! welcome to the "report," everybody! (cheers and applause) welcome to the "report"! good to have you with us! (audience chanting "stephen") >> stephen: thank you, ladies and gentlemen! please, sit down. folks, i've got to tell you, with a greeting like that -- with a greeting like that, folks you know how that makes me feel! folks, i've got to tell you, you make me feel like a rock star! folks, we're here on a very special night and you know why? that's a trick question: every night on this show is special. (laughter) well, let's just say that t...

♪ i like the things about me i like the things about me captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ ♪ look at all the lonely people -- ♪ jo jo was a man who -- band on the run ♪ maybe i'm amazed at the way you love me all the time ♪ ♪ ebony and ivory -- (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome to the "report," everybody! welcome to the "report," good to have you. (audience chanting "stephen") thank you, ladies and gentlemen! sit down! folks, i've got to tell you, with a greeting like that -- with a greeting like that -- (...

(cheers and applause) welcome to the report, everybody. thank you for joining us. >> stephen captioning sponsored by comedy central stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! >> folks, thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen. you know i need it. you know i need it. (cheers and applause) thanks, please, folks. please, folks, you know, thank you so much. thank you so much for chanting my name. jesus himself said man cannot live on bread alone but by every word, just chanted by your audience. folks, let's get straight to the story everyone's talking about. the nsa knows what ...

all right, thank you so much for coming in. it was an honor. if you're on time, you're late. okay. i wanna-- i wanna get-- i know some people wrote some questions down. i would love to get those up here. i'm gonna answer some of them. let's see... are you related to senator chuck schumer? only when i'm arrested for shoplifting. ♪ do you have any female therapists available? i think i just assumed they'd be women. ( laughing ) i think i just like assumed they'd be women? no women today. ( laughing ) all of our lady therapists are home with period cramps. they synchronize their circl...