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You knock bits off. it's not always sweetness and light. and that, i think, needs to be part of the telling of the story. the anger that we referred to that you felt at times within your loving relationship has other layers to it, and i want to explore those. anger with the church, of which you were an important part. and david was, too, because he was also a vicar. yeah. here, the two of you living in a loving relationship and your own church would not recognise, fully recognise your relationship. indeed, you had to promise the church, as i understand that, that you would be celibate within y...

Bedside situations, you'd been counselling families in the most difficult situations. and yet, i guess, you also felt, "this is me." yeah, and i was powerless. and david, who was also ordained, but he was a medic before that, he'd worked in a&e. so these were scenarios that we both had encountered professionally, but i couldn't do anything about it. so i thought, what can i do about this? and i thought, well, i love him and i'm going to make sure that i just locate, i'd centre myself in that. when i did that, life got a lot better. he didn't stop drinking, though, but life got a lot better. th...

Lots of people love the bbc, doesn't love you back. you learn this, right? so you make your accommodation with it. if you think it's something worth doing, and i did, and there's much about the church that i do love and lot about the people in the church that i loved. and also my day to day experience was always of being affirmed, actually. and david and i managed to find a way in which we could conduct the necessary intimacies of our relationship without subjecting that to this kind of weird forensic process that the church expected. i mean, again, this is difficult territory. i don't want to...

No, i think, i thought you could, actually. and also as a vicar, i spent a lot of my time with people who were going through that. so i knew what it looked like. i know the technicalities, registering a death, the coroner's office, all that kind of stuff, probate. but of course, that's from the outside. and when, of course, it happens to you, it's completely different. and it is, for me, it was like a depth charge that sort of blew up and disrupted all the surface, but also stuff that was very, very deep within came up and sent me completely mad for a while. i remember going to, the day david ...

Was an alcoholic. and that was very much related to the health problems that led to his death at a3. and you describe how once he died, you felt terrible, that you at times had not been understanding about his illness. yeah, i mean, anyone who's lived with an addict will know what that's like, i think. and at first, when his addiction began to shape our life very dramatically, all i could think of is, why are you doing this? why are you raising that glass to your lips? you don't have to do that. and when you do that, you destroy yourself and me and everything that's good in our lives. you were...