Page 23 - Exploding Unicorn News Today : Breaking News, Live Updates & Top Stories | Vimarsana

4: But that part was fun.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 26, 2020 My dearest children: You are the reason I wake up every morning. The reason I breathe. And most importantly, the reason we can't have nice things.— Unremarkable Files (@ThatEvansLady) May 25, 2020 I set my kids up with mugs of hot chocolate over a white carpet so I, too, like to live dangerously.— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) February 23, 2020 A heads up that if you're toddler comes into the room and says "mommy nothing happened", something definitely fucking happened. Hopefully you're k...

4: But that part was fun.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 26, 2020 My dearest children: You are the reason I wake up every morning. The reason I breathe. And most importantly, the reason we can't have nice things.— Unremarkable Files (@ThatEvansLady) May 25, 2020 I set my kids up with mugs of hot chocolate over a white carpet so I, too, like to live dangerously.— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) February 23, 2020 A heads up that if you're toddler comes into the room and says "mommy nothing happened", something definitely fucking happened. Hopefully you're k...

Having children changes everything ― mealtimes, holidays, romance and more. One particularly comical effect of parenthood is its impact on your exercise routine. The funny parents of Twitter seem to think so anyway. They’ve shared some hilarious musings about working out after kids, from child-induced cardio to cleaning up toys as strength training. We’ve rounded up 40 tweets that sum up fitness for parents. Enjoy! My daily workout is walking through the house 14 times a day turning off all the lights my kids have left on in every room.— Goddess Of Mischief™ BLM (@AsgardianRose) Jun...

7-year-old: I don't want mashed potatoes. Me: They're just like French fries. 7: Then give me French fries. There's a flaw in her logic, but I can't find it.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 14, 2020 My 8yo woke up this morning and said “Artichokes are rude!”, and honestly he is probably right.— Katie Didn't (@Pork_Chop_Hair) January 16, 2020 Me: “If you’re done with the game, you need to put the pieces away.” 4yo: I WAS done, but if I have to clean it then I’m undone.” Me too.— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) October 5, 2017 Me: Have a good d...

Created with Sketch. Parents tell their fair share of white lies, but kids have a special flair for stretching the truth. From implausible excuses for messes to fully fabricated stories, the creativity of children’s lies is often impressive. That’s the impression we get from the hilarious parents of Twitter anyway. We’ve rounded up 25 funny tweets about the lies kids tell. Enjoy! My 8yo just tried to convince me that there's sugar all over his mouth because he tripped and landed on a donut.— JennyPentland GED (@JennyPentland) April 16, 2014 Me: What happened to Ken? I just caught my ...