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I'm crushing your head, Sideshow Bob still wants Bart dead, Cecily Strong enjoys some red, what Toni Morrison once said, and much more from...

Skeleton on balcony, student humility, 13 going on 30, lives in your head rent free, and much more from this week in funny tweets. May 7...

when you're having a great time with your new toy but then find out it's not for you pic.twitter.com/CNUvnVeN03 — Living Morganism �� (@ok_girlfriend) February 19, 2021 republicans: if you don't like it here then leave ted cruz: ok Couples on onlyfans captioning their videos like "oiled up slut takes bbc" like sir, that is your wife. — Majin Buu (@Jessieraee5) February 19, 2021 Instead of having to raise money to survive every catastrophe, I think we should have some kind of official body made up of people we choose that collects a set percentage of money from every American and then ...

February 12 mfs be like "feb" cuz they can't spell februawary — ً (@imakayIa) February 13, 2021 It's been two days & im still losing it over this pic.twitter.com/tptRIgqU9v — ambrr (@amberharlow__) February 13, 2021 Just taking a moment to enjoy this comedy of errors again pic.twitter.com/rqVnPKi4pE — Jessica Baker ��✨ (@JessBoneBreaker) February 12, 2021 You know who doesn't get impostor syndrome? Cats. Not only does every cat know they're a cat, I think every cat believes firmly, with conviction, that they are the best possible cat, the prime example of a cat, the most cat a ca...

February 5 Emo: The world is fucked and I'm sad Goth: The world is fucked but there's beauty Ska: The world is fucked. I have a trumpet — Bly ������ (@PunkRockPagan) February 5, 2021 white lady asked if she could go in front of me at Starbucks today and I said "no it's black history month" lmfaoo why she say "ok im sorry" — �� (@HalleDria) February 5, 2021 jane fonda jane fonda Remember when Papa John got all sweaty, ate 50 pizzas in 30 days, and promised "the day of reckoning will come," then like the next day COVID happened? — Zach Heltzel (@zachheltzel) February 6, 20...