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Was, in fact, jewish. Isnt that amazing . But how did mel gibson know he was jewish . Did the cop walk up and go, mr. Gibson, do you know how fast you were driving, mr. Gibson . My partner and i, we were shvitzing. Enough already with the swerving and the going and the doing and the having. Thank you very much, everybody. Thank you so much. I had a wonderful time. Thank you. [ cheers and applause ] captions by vitac www. Vitac. Com ready to go. Ready to go. Ready to go. Ready to go. From comedy centrals World Headquarters this is the daily show with jon stewart. [the colbert report theme music...

Cheese cake factory will take three items off their 50 item menu and no one will give a [bleep]. Finally, i struggle with how to say goodbye to my friends. I saw a clip and i knew that was the one. Enjoy. [laughter] something to a few wellplaced ba bandages wouldnt fix and i promised myself i wouldnt cry. I was ready to go. Ready to go. Ready to go. Ready to go. From comedy centrals World Headquarters this is the daily show with jon stewart. [the colbert report theme music playing] [cheers and applause] jon welcome to the daily show my name is jon stewart. Good one tonight jason baitman. Batem...

[cheers and applause] stephen welcome back, everybody. Thank you so much. [cheers and applause] as you know, the colbert nation is evergrowing. Mostly because every night this inspires millions to procreate. [ laughter ] [cheers and applause] i assume some of you are doing it right now, in which case babe ruth had a batting average of. 342 and an earned run average of 2. 28. Youre welcome. [ laughter ] tonight i want to congratulate my wardrobe mistress antonia xereas, who just gave birth to the newest citizen of the colbert nation loukas Ramon Sanchez [cheers and applause] classic greek name....

Im out im out i didnt see that coming. No. Guess charlie had the cruelest intentions of all, huh . Uh, see . Feeling better . Yeah. You know, iive, um, ive been thinking about the restraining order. Youre gonna get rid of it . [laughs] no. No, no. But, um, but i was thinking about reducing it from, like, 100 feet to, like, 50 feet . Awesome okay. Okay. I can work with that. All right. Oh, so now . Starting now . Yeah, probably. Could you just leave the soup . Is this okay over here, or. [laughs] uh, i dont think theres 50 feet in this room, so. Ill go down the hall. Okay. Ill see you tomorrow....