Yes, I get It. Yes, I It. I get It. I get It. You love me. What can You do . HappY tuesdaY, everYone. So Kamala HarrIs Is In the mIddle of a MedIa BlItz. Shes The VIew, 60 mInutes,a me stephen colbert, howard stern. Shes been In front of more old than BrIan Stelters. Boxers. Last nIght she made o a dIsastrous, paInful appearance on 60 mInutes. It was so bad Joe BIden turned over In hIs grave. And after that traInwreck, HarrIs Appeare D The VIew where she saId she wouldnt have done anYthIng dIfferentlY the Joe BIden durIng the last four Years. Well, except PIck A Better VIce PresIdent. A fun sIde note, when the secret servIce patted Down Better Vr found a foot long bratwurst and £14 of kIelbasa. S ecre but be remIss If we dIdnt wIsh joY a happY bIrthdaY. She turned 82 YesterdaY to celebrate, she hIt a pInatatd full of sardInes. Her cake dIdnt have anY candles In case WhoopI Goldberg breaks wInddated. MeanwhIle, TIm Walz vIsIted JImmY KImmel show Last NIght, revealed he saved Carmelas N
Okay. Okay. All rIght. Good afternoon. Theyre. All rIgh gought. L stay but. But only for one drInk. S Its frIday, so you knowo Yo What that means. Lets welcome tonIghts guests. HIs razors are the opposIte of act, not terrIble. ComedIan and founder of Wester N Razor company davId angelo. She says bless your heart. Before she rIps you apart. Cohost the Bottom LIne at fox busIness. Do you gIve a call and he madesI hIs bones kIll It. Bad guys wIth drones, Fox NatIonal SecurIty Analyst and Fox News ContrIbutor brad kItzmIller, comIccontrI[cht from havIng scabIes to makIng babIes. New york tImes best SellIng Author bucks. ThIs contrIbutor got to. Ats my favorIte rhyme scabIes In babIes Is accurate awesome. All rIght. Thaaccurate some news storIes, lets do thIs. Yeah. The Open Dregs leftovers. Mm yeah, Its leftovers the where I read the jokes we dId use thIs week. And as always Its my fIrst tIme readIng them. So If they , well send Joe Mackeyd not to vIew dresseda cupcake. Donald trump Is pla
You, you fIlthy people. I know what youre thInkIng. Happy wednesday, everyone. ThInkIngso Joe BIden Appearede w on the VIew Today where Cohoste Sara haInes saId Its lIke havIng one of The Beatles at the tablee of. True I true. If youre talkIng about georgere or john, Its not more lIke yoko. Kamala harrIs wIll vIsIt the southern border on frIday. St she saId shes lookIng forward to fInally meetIng justIn shu. Ahe say speakIng of harrIs at the s last debate, she saId she was a mIddle class kId. Howevehed er It Appearss En HarrIs enjoyed thIngs most mIddle class kIds dIdnt lIke LIvIngjoIngskIds PrIvate Schoolr growIng up In some of the wealthIest places on earth. Jo the only thIng she dIdnt enjoy was a nanny. UnlIkeanI. Her husband, wrong way. Or that was a long way for a cheap joke. Youre welcome, amerIca. New Cdc Data shows. That us ObesIty Rates have fallen for the fIrst tIme even for. But just lIke the crIme statIstIcs, the cdc left out the cItIes new orleans, Los Angeles and the vIew
Stay. YeS. All right. YeS. YeS. Let not yOur be troubled. Troubl ItS fridaedy So you know meanS what that meanS. LetS welcome tonightS gueSt. SheS wItneSSe, S welcomS more n a caShier at a waffle houSe. HoSt Of outtake thiS morning. Charlie arnott got three thingS wrong. If It SeemS like heS judging you, thatS hiS jOf Itb. ThatS comedian vidS auguSt. Her huSband tried to convince bd her that talking iS bad for the baby. New york timeS beSt Selling Authorfor the baby. EStSell foxr kat timpf. And you need Sir Edmund See he haS dandruff. New york timeS beSt Selling author, comedian and formeff. R N World Champion tyron. All right, all right. All right. Ge right. All right. Before we get to Some newS StorieS, letS d So thiS. GregS leftoverS. Yeah, ItS leftoverS where i read jokeS. I we did newS thiS week, and aS alwayS, ItS Mt ISy firSt time reading them, So if they will by Joe Mackey wil, a Page M one Of Our jewiSh friendS in tel aviShv. Terrible Comedian ChriS Rock juSt endorSed Kamala H
I yes, It appears theres no arbate around my appeal. Happy wednesday, everyone. So people are accusIng last NIghts Debate moderators of teamIng Uy Wednesp Trump whIe lettIng kamalas slIde. Trueator, trump was constantly under attack by the moderators. So much so youd thInk were workIng from a slanted Roofyo Belt lIke an ambush. You knowd than, wIth Kamala Ande moderators jumpIng all over trump. I havent seenlIke three on one. That dIsturbIng sInce I was at that golden gIrls trump afterparty. I just watched It. Its what I lIke to do. Understandably, the moderators were heavIly crItIcIzed for theIr bIas. TheIr DavId MuIr seemed completely crmoved by the crItIquesbI. In a bIased factcheck of trump, muIr claImed crIme Is usIng dIscredIted data from the fbI. Wow. DavId so gullIble, he probably stIll belIeves those photos I took them really were for a charIty calendar act. Jokes on you. MeanwhIle, Kamala HarrIs referred to january sIx as the greatest attack on amerIcan democracy sInce the cI