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Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20170322

cheers and applause stephen hey how area you . cheers and applause . Jon i like that stephen whats going on . Please, have a seat, everybody. Youre too kind. Thanks. Welcome. Welcome to the late show. Im your host, stephen colbert. cheers and applause first of all, obviously, happy tuesday, everybody. cheers and applause tuesday crowd. Tuesday crowd. Jon taco tuesday. Stephen its the second dave spring . Today is the second day of spring. You know who has a bad case of the mondays this tuesday . The trump administration. Because, apparently, paranoia has seized the trump white house. Im surprised. I thought russia was going to seize it. Trump staffers, evidently, are so paranoid about the media, theyre staying mum in meetings out of concern that their comments could be leaked to the press by foes. I have some bad news. It didnt work, because your foes have leaked your mumstaying. And its not just the press. Not just the press theyre paranoid about. White house staff are also afraid tha

Transcripts For KYW The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20170322

cheers and applause stephen hey how area you . cheers and applause . Jon i like that stephen whats going on . Please, have a seat, everybody. Youre too kind. Thanks. Welcome. Welcome to the late show. Im your host, stephen colbert. cheers and applause first of all, obviously, happy tuesday, everybody. cheers and applause tuesday crowd. Tuesday crowd. Jon taco tuesday. Stephen its the second dave spring . Today is the second day of spring. You know who has a bad case of the mondays this tuesday . The trump administration. Because, apparently, paranoia has seized the trump white house. Im surprised. I thought russia was going to seize it. Trump staffers, evidently, are so paranoid about the media, theyre staying mum in meetings out of concern that their comments could be leaked to the press by foes. I have some bad news. It didnt work, because your foes have leaked your mumstaying. And its not just the press. Not just the press theyre paranoid about. White house staff are also afraid tha

Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20170323

Is it sergey kislyak. No its vladimir putin, but close enough. Everybody wins. Especially russia. So order trumpboo today, available wherever democracy is sold. Its the late show with stephen colbert. Tonight, stephen welcomes, glenn close, michael mckeen, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now live on tape from new york city, its stephen colbert. cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody stephen welcome to the late show, everybody. Im your host, stephen colbert. Thank you. Lovely people. Absolutely lovely people. How is everybodys march madness doing . It continues tomorrow night and friday on cbs. Right . Am i right about that . Yeah. Everybodys brackets okay . Yeah. Jon bracketed up. Stephen how are everybodys buckets . Ill explain that in a moment, you see, for weeks now, republicans have been bushing their obamacare replacement plan. Audience boo stephen but the bill has a preexisting condition everybody hates it laughter i think those were republicans booing. Because repu

Transcripts For WUSA The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20170322

cheers and applause stephen hey how area you . cheers and applause . Jon i like that stephen whats going on . Please, have a seat, everybody. Youre too kind. Thanks. Welcome. Welcome to the late show. Im your host, stephen colbert. cheers and applause first of all, obviously, happy tuesday, everybody. cheers and applause tuesday crowd. Tuesday crowd. Jon taco tuesday. Stephen its the second dave spring . Today is the second day of spring. You know who has a bad case of the mondays this tuesday . The trump administration. Because, apparently, paranoia has seized the trump white house. Im surprised. I thought russia was going to seize it. Trump staffers, evidently, are so paranoid about the media, theyre staying mum in meetings out of concern that their comments could be leaked to the press by foes. I have some bad news. It didnt work, because your foes have leaked your mumstaying. And its not just the press. Not just the press theyre paranoid about. White house staff are also afraid tha

Transcripts For KYW The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20170323

Top spy. Former adviser j. D. Gorden. Is it Sergey Kislyak . Be car careful its not as ey as it seems. Rex tillerson was awarded the order of friendship by this person. Is it Sergey Kislyak. No its vladimir putin, but close enough. Everybody wins. Especially russia. So order trumpboo today, available wherever democracy is sold. Its the late show with stephen colbert. Tonight, stephen welcomes, glenn close, michael mckeen, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now live on tape from new york city, its stephen colbert. cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody stephen welcome to the late show, everybody. Im your host, stephen colbert. Thank you. Lovely people. Absolutely lovely people. How is everybodys march madness doing . It continues tomorrow night and friday on cbs. Right . Am i right about that . Yeah. Everybodys brackets okay . Yeah. Jon bracketed up. Stephen how are everybodys buckets . Ill explain that in a moment, you see, for weeks now, republicans have been bushing their

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