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An d now its time for the late show with Stephen Colbert cheers and applause captioning sponsored by cbs cheers and applause can ya tell can ya tell ive had a week off, ladies and gentlemen . Im energized, fully loaded and both tanks are charged, folks, and it is great to be. We were on break for the last ten days, and i hit my target weight which was to gain one pound a day. laughter a little bit of drinking, a little bit of fishing. Dont matter what kind of fish it was because once you deep fry it, cant tell what it is. Speaking of frying, anybody here a fan of burger king . I love the king....

Band playing stephen hey hey hey cheers and applause thanks so much. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Hey thanks so much. Thank you, mark. Welcome to the late show. Welcome to the late show, everybody, please hey, chris. Thanks so much, everybody. Welcome to the late show. Thats awfully nice. Thank you, thank you. You know what . This is what lets me work all day and party all night. cheers and applause haha im stephen colbert. Im your host here for the late show. And you know what . Ive wasted enough time. Donald trump. laughter speaking of wasting time, donald trump. Last night, don...

Schoolboy q. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now its time for the late show with Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen thanks so much good to see you. Thank you, chris. Welcome to the late show, everybody. Thank you so much. I dont know what this is. I like it. Please, please, come on. Youre very generous. Youre very generous. Welcome to the late show. I am your host Stephen Colbert. Its hard to believe that there are only seven months left in the obama presidency. You never know how much youre going to miss a guy until you see the options. And a lot of people are wondering wha...

Mrs. Trump to address the controversy. Please welcome Melania Trump. cheers and applause welcome, mrs. Trump. I understand you have a statement. Yes, that is true. Stephen and this was written by the same staffers who wrote last nights speech . Yes, i wrote it. Stephen the floor is yours. My fellow americans, this is cheers and this is truly the best of times, it is the worst of times. I did not plagiarize my speech last night. I would never do such a thing. I would not, could not with a goat. laughter applause i could not, would not on a boat. laughter applause that is because i learned hones...

Fphilipps and a performance by blink 182. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now its time for the late show with Stephen Colbert cheers and applause captioning sponsored by cbs i want to just thank jake arrieta, kris brient and Anthony Rizzo from the chicago cubs for doing that cold open. Good luck, fellas. And for allowing me to rub their bodies. laughter very fit, very fit. And you can see those guys in baseballs allstar Game Tomorrow Night on another network, that is fox. laughter see, weve been off for a week. Lets see, what happened . Im wearing new glasses. cheers and applause tha...