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Profound words from 'General Tubman.'

Abraham lincoln: do any of you know the way to general weitzel's headquarters? freed slave: yas-suh, master lincoln. i know the way! admiral porter: fix bayonets! [train whistles]. abraham lincoln: look. [whistle]. crook: window. abraham lincoln: thank god i have lived to see this day. on we go. tad lincoln: papa-day. old slave: may de good lord bless and keep you safe, massa lincoln.

♪ >> do any of you know the way to general whitesell's headquarters? >> yes, sir, master, lincoln, i know the way. ♪ >> thank god i have lived to see this day. on we go. >> may the good lord bless and keep you safe, master lincoln.

Abraham lincoln: do any of you know the way to general weitzel's headquarters? freed slave: yas-suh, master lincoln. i know the way! admiral porter: fix bayonets! [train whistles]. abraham lincoln: look. [whistle]. crook: window. abraham lincoln: thank god i have lived to see this day. on we go. tad lincoln: papa-day. old slave: may de good lord bless and keep you safe, massa lincoln.

I write the books. you know that. i write all the copy for "the factor." >> oh, "the factor." [ cheers and applause ] >> i write the books. you know that. >> and they always come out at number 1 on the new york times. >> yeah, it's a fix. we got that fixed. [ laughter ] it's this show, letterman. you know that. >> now, have you ever done your show drunk, speaking of -- >> all the time. [ laughter ] in fact, i remember last week, in a monologue, you said, "it was fox's 15th anniversary, and o'reilly got so drunk, he actually said something that made sense." >> that's right. [ laughter, applause...