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Together about matthew and the issue of guns and mental illness. >> when did you finally get -- >> a month before -- before he took his life. >> do you know how he got it? who he got it from? >> he told me that he -- he told me everything. and he told me that he had found somebody finally on the internet who would sell it to him and it had to be super encrypted and it had to be this whole process and he begged me to help him because he couldn't figure out the process. again, there is so many, so many moments on terrible choices with mental illness. >> i mean, even since then we've seen other i...

Both kay and i have received and i'm not exaggerating, tens of thousands of letters and calls and notes from i get it. i know what you are going through. many types i don't have an answer for these people. i understand. i understand what you are going through. >> let me play a clip. this is kay talking in the interview we did together about matthew and the issue of guns. >> when did he finally get it? >> a month before he took his life. >> do know ho he got it? >> he told me everything. he told me that he found somebody finally on the internet who would sell it to him and it had to be encrypt ...

This is kay talking during the interview we did together this is about matthew and the issue of guns and mental illness. >> okay. >> when did you finally get -- >> a month before he took his life. >> do you know how he got it? who he got it from? >> he told me that -- he told me everything, and he told me that he had found somebody finally on the internet who would sell it to him and it had to be super incrypted and this whole process and he begged me to help him because he couldn't figure out the process. there is so many, so many moments of terrible choices with mental illness. >> i mean, ev...

He really -- he was so desperate to end the pain. that's the most important thing is that matthew was in such excruciating emotional and physical pain. he just wanted the pain to stop. >> matthew was not afraid to die. he was afraid of pain. i remember 10 years ago, when he was 17, he came to me sobbing and he said, daddy, he said, it's really clear, i'm not going to get any better. we'd gone to the best doctors, hospitals, best treatments, therapists, prayer, everything you could imagine, good support and he says, it's real clear i'm not going to get any better so why can't i just die? i know...

>> yeah. but he kept trying. >> he wanted one as far as you're aware for only one purpose? >> only one purpose. because he knew it would end it for him and he was just so determined. >> when did he finally get this gun? >> a month before he took his life. >> do you know how he got it? who he got it from? >> he told me that he -- he told me everything. he told me that he found somebody finally on the internet who would sell it to him. it had to be super encrypted and it had to be this whole process. he begged me to help him because he couldn't figure out the process. again, there are so many mo...