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Cause my sex is the best [ cheers and applause ] i have really good sex moves that i learned in china im a sexual tiger and i feed on vagina growl vagina, vagina i want to have sex with your vagina vagina, vagina what time is it . Its vagina thank you, new york [ cheers and applause ] thanks for coming out. Ow [ cheers and applause ] captions by vitac www. Vitac. Com from comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. cheers and applause jon welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. My guest i think youll enjoy George Stephanapolous will be joining us. Mr. Stephanapolous will be out here in a little bit. Well talk to him very briefly because hes got to be up in like two hours. Big news from vatican city tonight. Pope benedict xvi announcing he is stepping down as leader of the catholic church. Jon popes can do that . I assumed the papacy was like a lifetime commitment ....
From comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. cheers and applause jon welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. My guest i think youll enjoy George Stephanapolous will be joining us. Mr. Stephanapolous will be out here in a little bit. Well talk to him very briefly because hes got to be up in like two hours. Big news from vatican city tonight. Pope benedict xvi announcing he is stepping down as leader of the catholic church. Jon popes can do that . I assumed the papacy was like a lifetime commitment like being in the mob or being a correspondent on 60 minutes. In any case well bring you full Team Coverage of the popes resignation in holy quit. How is it going with that popey changey thing . Now, the pope has issued a statement citing the growing toll of his advanced age leaving him ill suited for his ministry ....
Nah, youre scared. You got you got lady balls. [hangs up, dial tone] [beep] hello . Im calling about the peridot earrings. Yes, maam theyd look good on your dead body. Why dont you kill yourself . All right. Thats that. That theres the the straw that broke the camels back. I got a gun right here. What do you think about that . Put it against your temple and pull the trigger. [gun clicks] [gunshot] [microphone feedback] from comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. cheers and applause jon welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. My guest i think youll enjoy George Stephanapolous will be joining us. Mr. Stephanapolous will be out here in a little bit. Well talk to him very briefly because hes got to be up in like two hours. Big news from vatican city tonight. Pope benedict xvi announcing he is stepping down as leader of the catholic church. Jon popes can do that . ....
Come on. We came in with one more thing in our pockets. Um. I dont know what you guys are talking about. I did a semester at bart, so im a pretty good writer. So the yelp review im gonna write about this place is gonna be scathing. His word choice is brilliant. Youre idiots. Leave now. Give me my cocaine or im gonna have a spaz attack so do you guys have, like, good memories . Or. [cracks neck] bummer. Bruckenhiemer, shawn, you are free to go. [both laugh] thank you, daddy. [bleep] you [bleep] you [bleep] you [bleep] you eat my [bleep]. Okay . [laughs] good at bizness. From comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. cheers and applause jon welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. My guest i think youll enjoy George Stephanapolous will be joining us. Mr. Stephanapolous will be out here in a little bit. Well talk to him very briefly because hes got to be up in like ....
They go, hold my baby. [laughter] man, they had a 91 yearold stripper, man. Ninetyone man, it was a trip. Yall seen an old stripper . Woman yeah. I mean, they brought one on the stage, man. Look, can i just show yall how it went . Yeah. Player, she was 91 years old. Let me show yall what happened. [slow music playing] [laughter and applause] [laughter continues] [laughter and applause] [laughter and applause] [laughter and applause] thank you. [cheers, whistles applause] captioning made possible by comedy central. Captioned by mccaptioning services www. Mccaption. Com from comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. cheers and applause jon welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. My guest i think youll enjoy George Stephanapolous will be joining us. Mr. Stephanapolous will be out here in a little bit. Well talk to him very briefly because hes got to be up in like t ....