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[cheers and applause] greg: yes! yes! yes, indeed! ha ha ha ha! happy monday, everybody. so imagine you have a big guard dog to keep an eye on your home and you depend on the dog to keep your family safe in a tough neighborhood. now imagine the dog disappears for four days. would you notice? if the answer is yes, then you re normal. if the answer is no, you re joe biden. [laughter] greg: because how the hell did he not know his secretary of defense was missing for four full days. it s not like he s hunter on a crack binge only shoaling up to ask for more cash for meth and antibiotics. this is the secretary of defense. in case you missed it and the white house hopes the world did lloyd austin was admitted to a hospital. we wish him a speedy recovery for whatever it is. knowing the military now, i hope he s not pregnant. but the fact that we don t know what the problem is, that s the problem. shouldn t the american people be told when our top defense officials in th ....
yes, yes. a ha dog y monday, everybody. so imagine you have a big guard dog to keep an eye on your hom y and you depend on the dog to keep your family safe in a tough neighborhood saf. now, imagine the dog disappears for four days. would you notice i?f? the answer is yes. then you re normal. if the answer is njoe o, you ree biden. because how the hell he not know? his secretary of defense was missing for four full daysy of . i mean, it s not like he s hunter on a crack binge. hunteonly showing up to ask for more cash for meth and antibiotics. this a secretary of defense. in case you missed it. and trust me, the white house hopes the world did. lloyd austin was admittet an d to a hospital last monday. now we appreciate the general servicase and we wi him a speedy recovery from whatever the problem is. knowing the military, i hope he s not pregnant. t k but the fact that we don t knowi what the problem is.hen ou the problem. but shouldn t the american people be ....
could you hold these? [laughter] here you go. don t worry about a thing. it s going to be fine. there we go. going to be fine. and bud light made a giant mess on aisle 9. when they tried to make this the face of their cans. this month i celebrated my day 365 of woman hood and bud light sent me possibly the best gift ever, a can with my face on it. check out my instagram story to see how you can enjoy march madness with bud light and maybe win some money, too. lovia. cheers. go team. whatever team you love i love, too. okay. lovia, break a leg. pete: playing a character. bud light is trying to play it all up by trying to get back on our good side. they claim no senior bud light executive new about the trans can which actually makes it worse. because that means junior edge employees had no doubt that bud s woke corporate culture would, of course, support celebrating 365 days of a man pretending to be a girl. so today budweiser put out an ad with a spliced up compilati ....
[applause] he rides a bike and he s from philadelphia. yet, somehow he is still alive. ceo of electric bike technologies, jason kraft. [applause] she is an expert on politics, which for this show makes you unique. fox news correspondent, gillian turner. [applause] by night she is a popular tv personality. by day, he s a professional dog walker. fox news contributor, kat timpf. [applause] well, it s been a minute since we cleaned out the fridge, so before we get to some new stories, let s do this. announcer: greg s leftovers, mmm! tom: it leftovers where i read recent jokes we didn t use. just like when greg does it come it s my first time reading these. here we go. during a recent jail interview, ghislaine max acclaimed jeffrey epstein was indeed murdered in his cell. she says she knows this because he never really liked to hang by himself. [audience reacts] jeff bezos the path of his girlfriend lauren sanchez revealed an interview that in 1999 she was devast ....
rides a bike and he s fromd he philadelphia. froyet somehow he s still aliv. ceo of electric bike. technologies jason kraft. she s an expert on politics, which for this show makes her unique. fox news correspondent gillian byurner by night. she s a popular tv personality. by day, she s a professional pre dog walker. fox news con fox news contributor cat tim. beforeit s been a minute since we cleaned out the fridge. so befor se weom get some news stories, let s do this.o this. greg s left overs. yeah, it s leftovers. where i read some recent jokes we didn t use.t use. and just like when greg does itm ,it s my first time reading these. here we go during a recent jaila interview, gillian maxwell jeffrey jeffrey epstein was indeed murdered in his cell. she says she knows that because he never really liked to hang by himself. f. right, jack? jeff bezos girlfriend, lauren sanchez, revealed in anrn in 1999 she wasing out she di devastated after finding out that she didn ....