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Transcripts For WJLA Jimmy Kimmel Live 20170419

Host, thanks for watching, thanks for coming. Were glad you made it. Today, as you just heard, is tax day in the united states. Which is unusual. Tax day normally falls on april 15th traditionally. But they moved it this year because the 15th was a saturday. I think its illegal to make people do math on saturdays. So we got three more days to do them. I will say i was thinking about this day. Its weird that the government more or less just trusts us to tell them how much we owe them. A restaurant wouldnt do that. They audit less than 1 in 100 people get audited. I figured, the odds are pretty good, i decided to claim guillermo as a dependant this year. [ cheers and applause ] guillermo yeah, yeah jimmy really. Really. By the way, if anyone asks you call me papa, okay . Guillermo okay, papa jimmy thank you very much. I used to do for years i would save all the receipts, log all my miles on my car. Every time i bought something id figure out some angle. Oh this hamster stage, its clearly ....

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Transcripts For WPVI Jimmy Kimmel Live 20170419

Host, thanks for watching, thanks for coming. Were glad you made it. Today, as you just heard, is tax day in the united states. Which is unusual. Tax day normally falls on april 15th traditionally. But they moved it this year because the 15th was a saturday. I think its illegal to make people do math on saturdays. So we got three more days to do them. I will say i was thinking about this day. Its weird that the government more or less just trusts us to tell them how much we owe them. A restaurant wouldnt do that. They audit less than 1 in 100 people get audited. I figured, the odds are pretty good, i decided to claim guillermo as a dependant this year. [ cheers and applause ] guillermo yeah, yeah jimmy really. Really. By the way, if anyone asks you call me papa, okay . Guillermo okay, papa jimmy thank you very much. I used to do my own taxes. For years i would save all the receipts, log all my miles on my car. Every time i bought something id figure out some angle. Oh this hamster stag ....

New York , United States , P Yongyang Si , North Korea , Buckingham Palace , United Kingdom , City Of , South Korea , North Korean , North Koreans , Katherine Heigl , Kevin Nealon , Charlie Franco , Joseph Stalin , Jimmy Kimmel , Rosario Dawson , Carrie Fisher , Sharon Horgan , Ima Wade , Charles Manson , Bernie Madoff , Steve Van Segal , Julia Louis Dreyfus , Chris Christie , Izzy Stevens , Matt Damon ,