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Xenophobia [ laughter ] well, at the rally, that was the calendar of events [ laughter and applause the dnc the dnc has announced that the lineup for the upcoming Second Democratic debate will mirror the first debate with montana governor Steve Bullock replacing congressman Eric Swalwell who has dropped out of the race. So, basically they replaced Eric Swalwell with the faceapp version of Eric Swalwell [ laughter and applause the house of representatives voted today on a bill that would raise the federal minimum wage to 15 an hour said trump, thats too high i mean, who works for a whole hour [...

Probrexit politician Boris Johnson was officially elected today to become the uks next prime minister. Great. In 70 years, the uk has gone a om Winston Churchill to roady for spinal tap [ light laughter ] President Trump continued his attacks on minority congresswomen today tweeting the quote, aoc plus three are a ghtmare for america. Although technically for trump, anything that involves math is a nightmare. [ laughter and applae aoc plus three, how do you how do you add letters to a mber . Several bars in washington, d. C. Will open early tomorrow so ople can watch special counsel Robert Mue...

Answers, he must add one marshmallow to his mouth. And speak through a box fan laughter also, anything regarding russian interference must be sung to the tune of love shack. For instance, they met don, jr. At the top of trump tower. laughter finally, muellers entire hearing will be accompanied by the secretary of slide whistles. Example trump said, oh, my god this is terrible this is the end of my presidency im bleep . slide whistle announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, honey, i ruined theki. Y juliaan castro, tony hale, and musical guest niluufer yanya, ma and now live on...

Elected today to become the uks next prime minister. Great. In 70 years, the uk has gone from Winston Churchill to a roady for spinal tap [ light laughter ] President Trump continued his attacks on minority congresswomen today tweeting the quote, aoc plus three are a nightmare for america. Although technically for trump, anything that involves math is a nightmare. [ laughter and applause aoc plus three, how do you how do you add letters to a number . Several bars in washington, d. C. Will open early tomorrow so people can watch special counsel Robert Muellers congressional testimony. So by din...

Broken and crimeinfested places from which they came. Okay, this is besides the point, but, dude, youre from queens. [ laughter ] i would say you should go back and fix it, but i dont think any of the trains are running. [ laughter ] House Speaker nancy pelosi said today she will introduce a resolution condemning president trumps racist attacks on minority lawmakers man, nancy pelosi counterattacks from a president the way a normal person handles bad service at starbucks [ laughter ] go back to where they came from oh, you bet, ill be filling out a comment card [ laughter ] i am very dissatisf...