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An Applicant's Guide to Student Culture at American Universities - McSweeney's Internet Tendency


An Applicant’s Guide to Student Culture at American Universities
Harvard: I would shiv someone to answer a question in class.
Yale: I wrote a Pulitzer-nominated play about the time I shivved someone to answer a question in class.
Princeton: I’ve structured a derivative, the Shiv Swap, whose price reflects the probability that a given shivving is successful in allowing one to answer a question in class.
Brown: We must ensure equal distribution of shivs across all socio-economic strata of American society.
Cornell: GO BIG RED.
Dartmouth: I made a shiv out of granola and ice.
Vermont: I made a shiv out of weed. And then smoked it. Sorry, what was the question? ....

United States , Notre Dame , Boston College , Shiv Swap , What Berkeley , ஒன்றுபட்டது மாநிலங்களில் , நோட்ரே டேம் , போஸ்டன் கல்லூரி , ஷிவ் இடமாற்று , என்ன பெர்க்லி ,

Detailed text transcripts for TV channel - FOXNEWS - 20190228:19:51:00

Everyone in america that just because you are in college does not mean you have to agree with what berkeley decided the rest of the colleges should say and do. there is a great powerful lesson here for sure. and people are, they are having a great time. they are talking to each other. some of the dress where it is amazing. not to like my shirt. dana: your shirt is always something. we look forward to seeing what you are going to wear on the program. tony katz, thank you. dana: floodwaters turning towns into islands. we have an update. and to the service dog gets a new assignment serving the nation s heroes. and be sure to check out the new episode of my podcast. with chris stirewalt, we covered a lot including joe biden s 2020 odds. scooters and queso on the moon. available on itunes or wherever you listen. newday s operation home. it lets veterans buy a home ....

The Americans , Each Other , What Berkeley , Dana Perino , Tony Cs Katz , Service Dog , Joe Biden , Chris Stirewalt , New Day , Operation Home ,

Detailed text transcripts for TV channel - FOXNEWS - 20180614:04:28:00

Is. are we agreed? tucker: i think the idea is insane and grotesque and it s a window into what this really is. isn t that what berkeley is saying? there not saying it s an emergency everybody stop having babies. tucker: okay, but hold on. if they are saying it s an emergency it presumably they believe it is. how can they justify riding buses having cars, refrigerator refrigerators, any activity that adds to the sum total ofor co2 emissions, why are they still committing these activities? why should i listen and take anyone seriously who is driving aa car and telling me not to hae more kids. i don t think they are saying that it s a combination of factors. the claimant is complex. it s not just one thingg you ned to stop having babies, i need to stop. writing my car. i think in general the younger generation the millennials are ....

He Tucker , Isn T , What Berkeley , Refrigerator Refrigerators , Hold On , Riding Buses , Co2 Emissions , Driving Aa ,