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Please Advise! Why Are Politicians So Painfully, Pathetically Unfunny?

Dear NA,
Richard Nixon understood. At his political low point in the early ’60s, Nixon hired Paul Keyes, a Jack Paar gag writer and later head writer for the smash hit TV show
Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In. Keyes was soon injecting self-deprecating laugh lines into Nixon’s stump speeches. Made him seem human. Hell of an actor, that Nixon.
So could Dr. Steve be a political gag writer?
Hey, don’t laugh. It’s a safe bet you haven’t been so far this week. The NDP gag went over like a whoopee cushion at grandma’s funeral. And one can only guess who is writing O’Toole’s, er, shit. You can find more sophisticated material just below the penis drawings in a high school bathroom. Besides, if O’Toole is intent on launching a battle of toilet humour, he should probably keep in mind that his name is O’Toole. A certain amount of counter-punching seems possible. ....

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The Mendoza Line: Heidi Cruz opening travel agency to help GOP families vacation spouse-free

We understand that in the current political environment it can be really tough to tell the difference between real news stories and satire, which is. ....

United States , Marco Rubio , Marjorie Taylor Greene , Lauren Boebert , Nancy Pelosi , Josh Hawley , Wikimedia Commons Mavericklittle , Heidi Cruz , Ted Cruz , Perry Greene , Jayson Boebert , Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer , Gage Skidmore , Mendoza Line , Heid Away Adventures , President Trump , Tom Cotton , House Speaker Nancy , Political Satire , Political Humor , Heidi Rsquos Heid Away Adventures , Cancun Trip , Mexico Trip , Us House , Us Senate , Chuck Schumer ,

The Mendoza Line: God freezes Texas to stop San Antonio Stock Show & Rodeo from happening

We understand that in the current political environment it can be really tough to tell the difference between real news stories and satire, which is. ....

San Antonio , United States , Fort Worth , Unsplash Scott Ymker , Scott Ymker , Mendoza Line , San Antonio Stock Show , Hill Country , San Antonio Stock Show Amp Rodeo , Covid 19 , Co Vid , Corona Virus , Winter Storm , Winter Weather , Texas Politics , San Antonio Politics , Political Satire , Political Humor , San Antonio Humor , சான் அன்டோனியோ , ஒன்றுபட்டது மாநிலங்களில் , கோட்டை மதிப்பு , மெண்டோசா வரி , சான் அன்டோனியோ ஸ்டாக் காட்டு , மலை நாடு , சான் அன்டோனியோ ஸ்டாக் காட்டு ஆம்ப் ரோடியோ ,

Group Effort Involving a RedState Investigation of Novel Options Helping Us Neutralize Toffs (Not a Contest)

Group Effort Involving a RedState Investigation of Novel Options Helping Us Neutralize Toffs (Not a Contest)
By
Mike Ford |
Feb 13, 2021 5:00 AM ET
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(AP Photo/Steven Senne)
Good Morning, Red State! Welcome to the new and improved political incumbent assessment, now under a duly chastened coordinator. Rather than use humorous terms that all rational adults realize are metaphors, we have dumbed this down a bit, in hopes of preventing illiterate leftists from soiling their panties. More about that further down. For now, let’s focus on the Republican, who based on reader performance evaluations (see what I did there?) might wish to consider alternative employment. This group evaluation and consensus should enable our Human Resources Department to terminate his employment, advertise his position, and begin to recruit someone more qualified, who advances the interests of Americans instead of foreign countries. ....

United States , South Dakota , Adam Kinzinger , John Thune , Jack Lombardi , Mike Ford , Liz Cheney , Anthony Bouchard , Fred Upton , Willard Romney , Cletus Jabroni , Republican Party , Human Resources Staff Evaluation Committee Members , Assessment Committee Members , Human Resources Department , Good Morning , Although Willard , Representative Adam Kinzinger , Human Resource Candidate Recruiting , Gene Koprowski , Human Resource , Wyoming State Senator Anthony , Senator John Thune , Human Resources , Human Resources Director , Performance Appraisals ,

The Mendoza Line: Texas threatens Dallas County with 'Cruzification' for trying to help minorities

Posted
By Corbin Mendoza
on Mon, Feb 8, 2021 at 10:42 AM
click to enlarge
The Cruz serum transforms Republicans into amplified, over-the-top, sniveling, self-serving, double-talking assholes.
We understand that in the current political environment it can be really tough to tell the difference between real news stories and satire, which is precisely why we re letting you know that the Mendoza Line
is a weekly work of satire.
The Department of State Health Services threatened to replace Dallas County’s allotment of COVID-19 vaccine with the serum that made Republican Sen. Ted Cruz such a dick.
The threat came after county leaders tried to prioritize doses for people living in predominantly minority ZIP codes. Black and Latino communities have been most vulnerable to the coronavirus. ....

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