back and forth. he slammed head-on into my son, and i got a call, quarter to three in the morning from afghanistan, a fellow officer who was an international guard, telling me he had been in a terrible accident. i kept try to call his phone, he wasn't answering, and then my worst nightmare, the doorbell rang and it was police to take me to the hospital. he died. >> sean: i've tried to put myself in your shoes, i think parents can do that. this is the one thing i don't think you recover from. i don't care how strong you think you are, you are not going to recover from this. >> no, and this is not a manufactured crisis, this is where i have to go for his birthday, for christmas, for every holiday. just as recently -- michelle was at my house in phoenix, i have three people contacting me four and a half years later, talking about the things my son had done for them. this has been a continual, for four and a half years. >> sean: does the media ask