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Editor's Note: The following is an opinion piece.
In a statement on Wednesday evening, President Biden criticized Governor Abbot’s decision to end mask mandates, calling it to be a “big mistake” and “Neanderthal thinking” in the face of CDC warnings about easing restrictions with developing coronavirus strains.
While the move is undoubtedly inhumane, drawing to mind a few choice words, the issue arises with Biden’s unforgivable, tragic comparison. To liken the governor's thought process to the extinct hominid is a grave insult to Neanderthal intelligence. Contrary to Biden’s words, they weren’t really the type to make moronic public health decisions on a state level. Instead, they were our particularly bright, beautiful brethren who in the end just couldn’t hack it. They met a very empathetic end. Many of us can even trace our lineage back to these robust, big-boned, wide-ribbed, pleistocene epoch grandmas. With knowledge of the microbiome, they most certainly would have cut some lovely animal hide masks for their grandkids, using relatively advanced stone tools.