You think you get ignored. Well, how do you think Heavenly Mother feels? Really, nobody ever mentions her, not even at Thanksgiving. Here at Smart Bomb, we take our cues about Mrs. God from
Salt Lake Tribune soothsayer Peggy Fletcher Stack. In a recent epistle, Ms. Stack said Mother in Heaven is gaining popularity within Mormondom. But not all Latter-day Saints are pleased: "'In some quarters, she has become domesticated as God the Father's wife, with no identity beyond birthing spirit children, or as a 'heavenly housewife,'" they complain." Oh, Heavenly Housewife! What a bummer. Is there house cleaning in heaven? Poor Mrs. God, she sounds a little like Rodney Dangerfield. "She never gets a break," said Margaret Toscano, who was banished by LDS leaders, Stack says, after writing about God the Mother. It's unclear why Matthew, Mark, Luke and John didn't mention Mrs. God in the New Testament. But what the hell, that was before women's lib. And why not? American Indians call this planet Mother Earth, and they should know. And according to Wilson and the band, if there is breakfast in heaven, there's a Mrs. God, er uh, Heavenly Mother. (We'll stop digging here.)