Im seth meyers. This is late night. We hope youre doing well. And now if you dont mind, were going to get to the news the Supreme Court ruled today that states cannot keep former President Trump off their ballots because of his alleged involvement in the Capitol Attack in fact, Clarence Thomas said trump could even pick the font [ laughter ] thats right, the Supreme Court ruled that states cannot keep trump off their ballots, which means that the Supreme Court remains the only place where trump can win the popular vote [ laughter ] President Biden met last week with the Prime Minister of italy, i assume to apologize [ laughter ] it wasnt my choice no joke. It wasnt my choice. While learning the white house on friday to travel to camp david, President Biden carried a hard cover copy of the book possible how we survive and thrive in an age of conflict because nothing says im ready to face the issues of a modern world like Walking Around with a hard cover book. [ laughter ] in a new interview, President Biden said hes running for reelection because hes proud of his record and wants to keep it going and because most of the policies hes enacted are just kicking in now and also because in america, even the president doesnt have enough money to retire [ laughter ] former President Trump last week visited the u. S. mexico border and then waved at migrants like he was in a school play and spotted his parents. [ laughter ] what what are you doing [ light laughter ] hello, its me. Thank you. Thank you for inventing queso. [ laughter ] former President Trump said in a new interview that he is, quote, on the side of women, adding, whens the last time biden gave a lady 83 mill . [ laughter ] [ audience oohs when asked if he would vote for former President Trump, utah senator mitt romney said in a new interview, quote, no, no, no, absolutely not, adding, okay, yes. [ laughter ] a man in maine was arrested recently after he allegedly laced a batch of oreo ice cream with thc people became suspicious when they felt good after eating ice cream. [ light laughter ] employees at a thrift store in canada recently discovered a world war ii era grenade in their donations bin. Luckily since it was a thrift store, they were all able to get a fresh pair of pants. [ laughter ] a School District in oklahoma is facing criticism after they allowed High School Students to lick other students toes for a fundraising event [ light laughter ] [ audience oohs to be fair, it was either that or a book fair toelicking it is [ laughter ] and finally, the fast casual chain panera bread announced last week it will add bacon mac and cheese to its menu fast casual is also how you walk to the restroom after eating it. [ laughter ] we heard how much you loved the first joke about crapping your pants. [ laughter ] we figured why not double down [ laughter ] that was the monologue, everybody. [ cheers and applause were a show about the news. Got a great show for you tonight. You know him from no country for old men, inherent vice, and thanos in the marvel movies. Hes hosting snl this week and starting in dune part 2, which is in theaters now josh brolin is back, everybody [ cheers and applause he is a New York Times bestselling author whose Childrens Book pretty ugly is out now. David sedaris will be joining us [ cheers and applause so happy to see him. And her album the glorification of sadness debuted at number one in the uk. Well have music from british singer songwriter paloma faith [ cheers and applause it is going to be a nice night before we get to all that, the Supreme Court ruled today that donald trump can remain on the ballot, overriding a decision by the Colorado StateSupreme Court that declared trump ineligible due to the constitutions ban on insurrectionists Holding Office. For more on this, its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause seth trump has remained completely unrepentant about the insurrection on january 6th and his attempt to overturn the 2020 Election Results and end american democracy in fact, hes got a new slogan at his rallies, repeating the deranged lie that the 2020 election was rigged. We want a landslide that is too big to rig too big to rig thats what we need. We want a landslide. We have to win we have to win so that its too big to rig too big to rig seth which is he saying it so slowly . [ laughter ] it tells you how little he thinks of his crowd that he pronounces onesyllable words the way i read hop on pop to my 3yearold. [ laughter ] all ball. We all play ball. [ laughter ] big rig too big to rig. [ laughter ] theres a new report out that the Trump White House was awash in drugs, which would make sense because trumps starting to slowly pronounce words like he just took a giant bong rip [ light laughter ] you know whats a funny word . Rig. [ laughter ] it sounds like big. Too big to rig whoa is it just me, or is that windmill spying on us . [ laughter ] i know youre killing birds, windmill one of these days, im going to prove it oh, it just moved. It just moved. [ laughter ] did you guys see that . Also im not making up that story about the drugs. There was a full inspector generals report that the Trump White House was a pill mill and then a new report yesterday that said the Trump White House was just handing out speed and xanax like candy and that story just came and went because theres too much [ bleep ] going on we didnt have time to talk about it us eight years ago. If you told me there would be a story about the white House Pharmacy handing out goody bags full of benzos and amphetamines, i would have figured that would be a week of closer looks. And now my reaction is, we dont have time for that mickey mouse bull[ bleep anyway [ laughter ] back to trump. What would a landslide victory thats too big to rig even look like because youve already claimed that democrats rigged the result in california where you lost by over 5 million votes, just in one state i always hear republicans cant win california you cant win. I will tell you, if god came down and god was the vote checker, i believe we would win. Seth so now you need a landslide thats too big to rig, and you need god to be the vote checker . I doubt god wants anything to do if god came down and counted the votes, im sure youd accuse him of cheating too. I find i find the robe very suspicious, the long the long flowing robe which he wears even in the summer. Even in the summer, a robe you see the videos of him walking into the Voting Center the robe is normal and then he walks out, the robe is bulky. [ laughter ] because hes hiding ballots under the robe, but no one will check the robe because were all too woke now. [ light laughter ] trump is unrepentant about january 6th. In fact, hes worse than unrepentant. Hes turned january 6th into a rallying cry at his campaign events, playing a song by a choir of convicted insurrectionists at a rally in houston, texas, trump entered with a song by the socalled january the 6th choir, a group of inmates detained on charges related to the insurrection and then he called those individuals hostages the former president of the United States stood on a stage and glorified domestic terrorists he made a song with the socalled j6 prison choir yes, that is a real thing, actual january the 6th insurrectionists in prison, singing together trump and his campaign have elevated the socalled j6 choir, a group of prisoners who recorded a version of the National Anthem from behind bars trump played their recording with video images of the violence on january 6th running in the background at the very First Campaign rally of his 2024 campaign. Seth man, these trump rallies [ bleep ] weird. Theyre like half megachurch and half comic con but with way worse merch. I mean put aside [ laughter ] put aside the fact that trump is glorifying a violent insurrection theres nothing id rather listen to less than a choir of adult men singing a parody version of the National Anthem and you know who else would think that sounded [ bleep ] any trump supporter before you told them what it was about. Imagine if i walked into a maga rally saying, want to hear my new National Anthem parody song . I recorded it over prison phone lines. Theyd kick my ass, unless i said, its protrump, in which case theyd beg to know where they could download it im really starting to think these people are hypocrites. [ laughter ] trump again featured a song from the socalled j6 prison choir over the weekend and praised them for being heroes. You heard the hostages singing. That was the hostages. Theyre the j6 hostages, i call them, because they are hostages. Theyre policemen. Theyre firemen. Theyre accountants. Theyre lawyers. Seth i feel like trump only knows jobs that were in a Richard Scarry book. [ laughter ] theyre policemen theyre firemen. And one of them is a little worm who drives an apple to work. But you cant trust him. Hes a lowly worm. But trump continued. Theyre put in jail for extended periods of time, for very long periods of time. Theyre hostages you heard them singing you heard the spirit that they have the spirit is unbelievable that song became the number one song seth this guy is talking about his dumb little novelty song like hes ed [ bleep sheeran. The shape of you is one of the most streamed songs of all time. The shape of trump is, i dont know, drumstick with googly eyes [ laughter ] and that was todays unnecessary use of googly eyes [ light laughter ] give me the googs. [ laughter ] also i cant believe im about to spend time factchecking this, but here it goes it is true that after it debuted, trumps supporters propelled the song to number one on billboards digital song sales chart. But saying it was the number one song is very misleading, given that at the time the track drew 442,000 official streams and 25,000 in Radio Audience compared to Morgan Wallens last night, which drew 38. 9 million streams and miley cyrus flowers, which drew 106. 7 million in airplay audience and by the way, me explaining how music downloads work is why we dont have time to talk about how the Trump White House was handing out ambien like they were tic tacs. [ light laughter ] well played, you sound asleep sons of bitches. [ light laughter ] also just because youre number one in a super spefic category doesnt mean youre number one overall. This show is the number one nbc show in the 12 30 a. M. Time slot [ light laughter ] but if i said late night with seth meyers is the number one show on tv, i think wed get some angry phone calls from the cast of the bear, and i dont want to get in a fight with Jeremy Allen White have you seen that guy without a shirt . [ laughter ] better question, have you seen him with a shirt [ laughter ] did someone steal this mans shirt . [ laughter ] could you give it back because its making some of us feel bad about our beach bodies [ laughter ] so trump is not only unrepentant about january 6th, he openly celebrates it at his rallies and today he got a big assist from the Supreme Court when they ruled he could stay on the ballot despite the 14th amendments ban on insurrectionists the High Court Just said moments ago that mr. Trump can stay on this years president ial ballot in colorado after that state barred him from its republican primary colorado Supreme Court had disqualified mr. Trump under a constitutional provision that bars people who engage in insurrection from Holding Office it doesnt take on and say that donald trump did not engage in insurrection. In other words, the issue of the facts, is he an insurrectionist or not, was not before the court, and they do not in any way that ive seen so far in a quick you know, quick skimming take that on. Seth so the court didnt actually touch the question of whether trump engaged in insurrection of course they didnt. Any rational human who isnt currently a Republican Office holder or member of an insurrectionthemed choir can see with their own eyes or with a pair of googly eyes that it was obviously an insurrection. The court stayed away from that question the same way you react when your wife asks if you think her sister is hot. What . You have a sister . I dont even remember what she looks like. With all that said, im afraid the headlines from this ruling are going to be misleading because on the one hand, the court ruled unanimously that trump can stay on the ballot, which makes it sound like even the liberal justices said no candidate can ever be disqualified for engaging in insurrection but thats not what they said. There was basically a second, much more divided ruling from the courts conservatives that went much further and said only congress can disqualify a candidate. The specific question at hand, did the colorado Supreme Court err in ordering President Trump excluded from the 2024 president ial ballot. Well, that the Supreme Court unanimously agreed as yes. But from there, we see some divisions among the justices where there was that 54 split was in the particulars five of the justices here, the majority, said thats what rules, said that states can unilaterally decide to take president s or any federal officers off the ballot, and instead thats a decision that congress would have to make in the form of legislation to decide which candidates could be disqualified by the 14th amendments socalled insurrection ban seth so basically you have to read the fine print on the ruling to find out just how dangerous and extreme the ruling from the courts conservatives was. Its like when you play mcdonalds monopoly and you think you won, but then you turn it over, and theres an asterisk that says, winnings only available in states that begin with the letters x, y, or z. [ laughter ] not including fictional states such as xanadu except for zanzibar, which is real despite the fact that it sounds fake and winners must collect proceeds between the months of marchuary and augvember in the year of our lord 3,075 million unless congress votes. Then you can do whatever you want. [ laughter ] the courts liberals seemed furious at this ruling they wrote that the conservative majority attempts to insulate all alleged insurrectionists from future challenges to their holding federal office because we all know republicans in congress would never vote to disqualify a republican candidate who engaged in insurrection the courts conservatives essentially gave all future insurrectionists the green light to run for and hold Public Office which means its up to us, the voters, to stop them just like we did in 2020 2024 is the sequel its like too fast, too furious except its called too big to rig. [ laughter ] seth this has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause well be right back with josh brolin, everybody [ cheers and applause announcer for more of seths closer looks, be sure to subscribe to late night on youtube. You love pizza just as much as we love pizza so were bringing you our favorite offer yet. For a limited time get a large, one topping pizza for 8. 99, only at papa johns. Better ingredients, better pizza. Out of the billions thatve walked this globe, here we stand, our spirits have been charged with being the pioneers of this new frontier, what a time to be alive. together is the best way to discover joy kinder joy, open a world of surprise [customer service rep] discover customer service, this is maya. Jennifer oh, hi maya. You robots are sounding more human every day [customer service rep] at discover, everyone can talk to a human representative. Jennifer alright, prove it. [customer service rep] wait, are you a robot . 24 7 u. S. Based customer service. Jennifer how would i prove that im not . Leftover chicken, scallions, cheese. What am i gonna make with this . Mayow mayo . Best foods . . You can talk . And then she says. Mayow. And boom best foods saves the leftovers. She cant spell. Mayow its mine and now our keynote speaker. Mayow pete. Is it serious . You lasted longer than most. Mayow [ cheers and applause seth give it up for the fantastic 8g band. [ cheers and applause sitting in with us this week, hes the drummer for dreamcar and legendary band no doubt. The band is celebrating tragic kingdoms 30th anniversary next year and will be performing for the first time in nine years at the coachella festival in april. Adrian young is here welcome to the show, adrian. Thanks for being here. [ cheers and applause thank you yeah seth were thrilled to have you. Our first guest tonight is an Academy Awardnominated actor you know from films such as no country for no men, inherent vice, and sicario. Hes hosting saturday night live this saturday, march 9th, with musical guest ariana grande, and hes also starring in dune part 2, which is in theaters and imax now. Lets take a look. How many men with you 200 200 do you realize what youre able to achieve with 200 men . Incredible fighters. Duncan said there were millions of them in the deep south yes. Well, what are you waiting for . With thousands of these guys, you could you take control of the entire planet. Its your fathers dream what are you afraid of seth please welcome back to the show our friend josh brolin. [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause seth welcome back, friend. Thats some serious drumming, man. Seth yeah, we got a real i felt that seth we got some real action here i want to give you a shirt. Seth a tshirt a tshirt from ill show it to those guys first seth oh, yeah, show it over to that camera right there it is a choose love tshirt, and its an amalgamation of three different characters the goonies, thanos seth and no country. And no country. Seth there you go. Very nice. [ cheers and applause choose love. Choose love is a wonderful organization tell us a little bit about what choose love does choose love, antiwar antiwar thats what ill say seth thats pretty good. Lets keep it right there. I dont think anybody could be prowar. I think at some point during our interview, i want to put on the shirt, but i dont know at what point ill want to do it. So im just gonna randomly let it happen. Seth okay. Well let the shirt speak to you. Yeah. [ laughter ] hi, seth seth i just want to mention real quick because i was very weve talked about goonies before and how you how people still bring it up to you they do seth i was recently i want to say it was on a i cant remember im not going to name the airline because i dont want people to get excited and start booking flights hoping theyll get goonies on the plane but goonies was one of the movies on a flight i mean you had to choose it. It wasnt just like for everybody. [ light laughter ] but a lot of people i was walking up and down the aisles i was watching goonies. I feel like a lot of people were like, im going to watch goonies again. Goonies holds up goonies holds up. Seth and goonies is insane goonies holds up. [ cheers and applause seth and for a kids movie, goonies is insane. Its insane [ light laughter ] and now now its at that point where its like im old enough now where the son, and now the son has had sons or daughters. Seth yeah. So, its like nine generations later, and im still like [ light laughter ] they were like, oh, my god, thats the guy. And im like [ laughter ] you know seth you know, first of all, congratulations on dune 2. Thank you seth but you had a massive week [ cheers and applause you know, its really easy i mean it kind of goes into the goonies thing because goonies you know, i did the goonies, and i thought thats how my career was going to go. Seth yeah, just goonies after goonies after yeah. I thought thats how movies were made, you know. Like every director was going to be spielberg and dick donner and all that and then i realized you know, i did thrashin then, after that, which that was different. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] and then i did Michael Landons highway to heaven, an episode. And then i left for europe because i had to leave because it just wasnt the same. Anyway, so after 20 years, you know, as a working actor, but i didnt work very much. So, after 20 years, youre on the street and people are like, i love you in goonies. and after 20 years, you go, like, im ready for Something Else seth to be loved for Something Else like just make up a name. Like rename goonies. Seth yeah, right you know . And then no country happened seth yeah. And its changed seth and then, you know, no country, sicario, those movies are just theyre so rewatchable in a great way and i feel like the dune movies are the same thing. With that said, dune is such a hit, i feel like we dont have to overpromote it right now, you know no, but i will say this my family went back. My familys been with me the whole time they almost always are but they went back for a couple of days before i do snl. And so, they were on the plane, and she said and she was on the plane with bautista, Dave Bautista, and she said everybody is watching dune in every seat im passing. And i said, even Dave Bautista . And she said, no, hes watching bluey. [ laughter ] and that thats not me making something up its the truth seth thats wonderful. I like, by the way, you knew to ask about dave, and she knew to check. Yeah. I think thats seth so, this is crazy i mean this is i mean obviously if youve seen dune, you know these beautiful vistas. But it is pretty trippy to see your kids. You brought your kids. I did seth and there they are. I mean, this is talk about a cool set to be on. Thats outstanding did they have a good time . But look at this, though. They had a great time, and this is a 900foot dune i mean thats 900 feet i climb that every day in order to stay in shape seth really . Yeah, because like i thought id be fine. And then i got to work, and i wasnt fine. I was eating a lot of donuts and [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] seth do you think like now, like when you get back to california, youre going to have a dune put in your backyard . Yeah. Seth just for the [ laughter ] no, but seriously thats the way you think. Thats the way one thinks. Thats the way a twisted actor thinks youre like, im going to stay in this shape for the rest of my life i feel great. Seth yeah. This is all and then you get back and, you know, they say, what would you like to order . And you go, you know what ill have a double chimichanga. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] and there are no dunes here. No. Seth you know, talk about there are movies snl sketches are just like movies. Sometimes theyre goonies. Sometimes theyre thrashin. Yeah. Seth this was a goonies. You were in the very first californians. Yeah seth i mean thats [ cheers and applaue ] i mean this is a real iconic if were talking about the last sort of 15 years of snl. This is as good as it gets and it was one of the great sketches i think for hosts to do because it was so fun. It just seemed like and you know that bill and fred, they used to do it at the roundtable seth yeah. And they never actually like asked lorne to do it and because im like the staunch californian, they were like this is the perfect time seth you were the perfect guy to carry californians. And i was the only guy because im truly like a staunch californian. Im the only guy that has a different voice than everybody else because i thought everybody else was [ bleep ] it up. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] yeah, i dont think i do feel bad for, say, europeans who watch the californians and think thats how they sound. But they do [ laughter ] but they do. Apparently, im the only one who doesnt know from california that we sound like this, you know [ light laughter ] seth well, its very lucky that you you like to play ball as opposed to be offended by how they were no, no, no. I love to play ball. Offended is not in my vocabulary seth yeah. This was and, again, this was a hit. Im an actor. Seth and i think its really nice when you get to be a host on the show that is there for the beginning of a franchise like the californians. And then there was another sketch you were in the first and only fart face. Oh, man [ light laughter ] and how is that the only time fart face like every time i see bill now, he was like, how great was that . I go, i know, but why didnt it continue . Seth well, maybe you were having too much fun to notice not a single human laughed during the whole [ laughter ] and by the way, i say this as a fan of fart face. But you know, youve you see how they laughed and then they shut up really quick, cause you were like [ laughter ] seth yeah. They dont want to theyre worried itll that was like a sicario moment they were like, oh, [ bleep ]. Hes in sicario. Seth did you because now bill has entered you into the legend because it did not play particularly good at dress right seth and it made the show i love that you remember this seth bill loved it yes seth will loved it, you loved it, fart face. Yeah. No, i did. Seth you know what bill said you said to him and will right before air what . Seth okay. I dont seth he said, you go, all right, gentlemen lets shut these mother [ bleep ] up. [ laughter ] meaning seth meaning this is not oh, no, i do remember that. Seth yeah. You knew it was going to bomb. The three of you were like, theres no way this is going to play. We said that right behind the wall right before we walked in seth yes literally it was like three, two lets shut these mother [ bleep ] up. [ laughter ] and then bill was like, what are you doing . Seth but it is i like reality like that. Seth that is the legend of it is it was just like three guys who were like, were going to do our thing. Yeah. Seth were going to love it. Yeah. Seth its not going to be for anybody today. Right seth but it will grow in legend over time yes seth can i tell you i feel like youre going to put the tshirt on i sure am [ laugher [ cheers and applause seth can i put mine on [ cheers and applause im putting mine on. [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause i know thank you, thats great. [ cheers and applause yeah. [ cheers and applause i love that im no ryan gosling. [ laughter ] seth i see right through you. You were like, i want to do something to make everybody forget about fart face. i do. [ laughter ] i did. I had like a reaction. I was like, lets go back to californians. Seth it must be i mean seriously to go back to its so exciting a movie like dune and dune 2. Everybody feels like they have to see it on the big screen. It is a real reminder of the fun of seeing movies together. And it was so it is i mean in this day and age, its so exciting when a movie actually does great at the box office it must be such a cool thing theres an Old School Feeling that i really started to miss. And i know covid happened, and like a lot of stuff has happened and people you know, you have these huge screens in your living room and all that but theres a feeling when i saw e. T. , when i saw 2001, when i saw jaws, and youre in the theater and those lights go down you have the milk duds you eat the milk duds too fast you pass out because of a sugar high and crash [ laughter ] and then you open your eyes at the end of the beginning credits, and you have this incredible experience. Seth yeah. And you like you dont want to rob people of that incredible experience. And i snuck into Lincoln Center dune yesterday at 12 15. Seth did you really . I did seth wow and i had ive seen it a few times. I saw an early version, and then i saw it with like fans in mexico and this. And its a different thing because every time zendaya comes up, its like taylor swift has showed up in your living room and ahh [ light laughter ] and then i got to see it, and they were locked in, man seth yeah. They were locked in it was this amazing communal experience ill shut up now, but it was an amazing experience seth did anybody did anybody clock you, or did you get away with your anonymity no. Which is first of all, i get away with my anonymity all the time anyway. But nobody cared because they were enjoying they were immersed in the movie so much. I could have said, hey, im hosting snl this next week does anybody care . And then literally nothing [ laughter ] seth no. [ cheers and applause you guys did a great job of doing an impression of the dune audience. Great to see you, buddy. Thank you seth josh brolin, everybody. Dune part 2 is in theaters and imax now snl returns this saturday at 11 30 p. M. On nbc and peacock with host josh brolin, musical guest ariana grande. Stick around well be right back with David Sedaris. [ cheers and applause David Sedaris. [ cheers and applause i told myself i was ok with my moderate to severe rheumarthritis symptoms. With my Psoriatic Arthritis symptoms. But just ok isnt ok. And i was done settling. If you still have symptoms after a tnf blocker like humira or enbrel, rinvoq is different and may help. Rinvoq is a oncedaily pill that can rapidly relieve joint pain, stiffness, and swelling in ra and psa. Relieve fatigue for some. And stop joint damage. And in psa, can leave skin clear or almost clear. Rinvoq can lower your ability to fight infections, including tb. Serious infections and blood clots, some fatal; cancers, including lymphoma and skin; heart attack, stroke, and gi tears occurred. People 50 and older with a Heart Disease risk factor have an increased risk of death. Serious allergic reactions can occur. Tell your doctor if you are or may become pregnant. Done settling . Ask your rheumatologist for rinvoq. And take back whats yours. Abbvie could help you save. Nothing makes a gathering great like egglands best eggs. Theyre just so delicious. With better nutrition, too. For us, its eggs any style. As long as theyre the best. Egglands best. Shopifys point of sale system helps you sell at every stage of your business. With fast and secure payment. Card readers you can rely on. And one place to manage it all. Whatever the stage, businesses that grow grow with shopify. Your record label is taking off. But so is your sound engineer. You need to hire. I need indeed. Indeed you do. Indeed instant match instantly delivers quality candidates matching your job description. Visit indeed. Com hire you love pizza just as much as we love pizza so were bringing you our favorite offer yet. For a limited time get a large, one topping pizza for 8. 99, only at papa johns. Better ingredients, better pizza. What do i see in peter dixon . Only at papa johns. I see my husband. The father of our girls. I see a public servant. A man who served under secretary clinton in the state department. Where he took on the epidemic of violence against women in the congo. I see a fighter, a tenacious problemsolver. Who will go to congress and protect abortion rights and our democracy. Because he sees a Better Future for all of us. Im peter dixon and i approved this message. [ cheers and applause seth our next guest is an acclaimed New York Times bestselling author. His Childrens Book pretty ugly is on sale now please welcome back to the show our friend David Sedaris [ cheers and applause seth welcome, david. How are you . Fantastic seth now, one of the things you said to me is we would not be able to do the interview without me asking about your shoes, and that is true. [ light laughter ] arent they i dont know that you can see [ laughter ] seth thats like so theres just two yeah, thats i mean that is Something Else well, its like i have a deformity of the foot. Thats what it looks like, and theyre so like when you examine them, they just look theres something scientific [ light laughter ] like they belong in a you know, in one of those sad exhibits of people seth yeah, like those very old exhibits of like medical yeah people who somehow lived. Seth yes thats what they look like. Seth now, when you saw those shoes, did you know right away i must have them . Oh, yeah. Seth yeah. And theres another pair thats one pair stacked on the other. Seth okay. But these were more challenging. [ laughter ] thats what i liked about these. Seth yeah, how is the walking round . Do you feel like its hindering you . You know what its not that hard seth okay. I want to someone came up to me and said, i want to see your footprint in the sand. And i thought, i do too. [ laughter ] you know how that would look seth congratulations youve obviously written many books. This is your first Childrens Book yeah. Im the only author who didnt think he could write wasnt interested in writing Childrens Books. Seth you had no interest in doing it none. Seth what tipped you into the idea of writing one . Someone who i respect asked me too, and she was doing a project of putting writers together with illustrators and so she put me together with ian falconer, who had done the olivia books seth the wonderful olivia books, yes before he did olivia. He did the sets for a play of mine, and so we just always liked each other and so he was going to do the pictures, so i thought, okay. Seth yeah. [ light laughter ] but i dont know anything about Childrens Books i mean, i dont have children just so i dont have to read them seth right [ laughter ] like i dont and i got to say, maybe sounds bad it took me five minutes to write that thing. [ laughter ] i just thought i just thought i dont think kids you know, they can be nice and stuff, but i dont think theyre that bright. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] you know, i mean so i thought i thought, well, it cant be that hard seth yeah. I guess is what i thought seth and then after you did it, would you say it was harder than you thought no. Seth or exactly as easy yeah [ laughter ] its exactly as easy. But then, you know, people have asked like, oh, did your parents read to you as children . I was talking about it with my sister, amy. Our parents put us to bed with two words shut up [ laughter ] and then they closed the door. They never, ever read a book to us but half of the people in my family are huge readers. Seth thats the thing thats shocking to me you and your sister, amy, just strike me as i dont know, just, like, incredibly well read and brilliant writers, and its so shocking to me. This disproves every book about parenting that would say you need to read to your kids to make them readers. Yeah. Seth so what was it you think drew you to reading if your parents started every bedtime with shut up [ light laughter ] i didnt have a tv. Seth yeah. I mean i mean when i got out of i went to college, i didnt have a tv and then after college, i didnt have a tv. So i think that had a lot to do with it. Seth yeah. I just started writing when i was 20 because i didnt have a tv seth all right well, this is heartbreaking news for you [ laughter ] watching at home right now. And there are there are like, i dont know, 27 words there are more words on a hotel key [ laughter ] than there are in that book seth now, i wrote a Childrens Book, and, you know, i think like a lot of Childrens Books, i tried to have a message behind it. Is there a message to your book . None. [ laughter ] i think i think it must be so exhausting now to be a child, and everywhere you turn, someones trying to shove a lesson down your throat. [ laughter ] wouldnt it just be exhau and obviously they dont work. Look around, right [ laughter ] like, look around. Seth right, because these are all basically this is a country run by adults who also read books with messages, and none of them took. Right, no seth thats a very fair point. This is about a monster who is born with a pretty face and is very upset about it. Yeah, an ogre, yeah seth and would you say in my summary, ive now used more words than are actually in the book yeah, yeah, yeah. [ light laughter ] seth but were you worried, because there is a moment where the monsters solution is to reach into their mouth and pull their head inside out to make themselves look like a monster again. So this is just a sense of what the monster is doing and now were you concerned that this might be a photo that was would be distressing to children [ laughter ] no, not a bit not a bit. Seth you werent worried at all . And when you first got ians art back, did you ever did you say more grotesque, or were you happy with his first pass . No. I mean he was such a master, i would never seth yeah. Its always such a mistake when youre working with somebody, and you try to tell them what to do when theyre so good at their job. Seth yes so, you know, we just left each other alone seth you know, the illustrator for my book, rob, thats the hard job. Writing a kids book, so easy illustrating it, theres no shortcuts to illustrating it so shoutout to the illustrators for yeah. Yeah, i mean, the sad thing is that ian died last year. Seth mmhmm. And i still have to split the royalties with him [ laughter ] seth you know what ive been doing this ten years, that might be the most offguard ive been caught [ laughter ] [ applause ] have you gotten any feedback i mean you obviously have friends with kids. Anybody reached out to say whether they like it or not . Hughs goddaughters mother wrote to say that betty just wants to read the book again and again and again. Thats seth thats great. Does that i mean i know you dont think kids are that bright, but do you still take does that positive feedback matter well, i mean thats the reader i mean, thats so interesting. Now, ive never had, like, someone who really cant read be my reader. [ laughter ] seth weve talked about how youve always taken great advantage of the opportunity to write inscriptions that are maybe different than what other authors would write when people come to your readings and things like that. Have you been able to inscribe any books for children yet i have only signed four copies of that book. But the books called pretty ugly, and so i thought on the full title page, i should work the words pretty ugly into so somebody on the staff here just asked me to sign a book to their children to their child. And so i wrote, like, dear rebecca, i hear things can get pretty ugly at your house when your parents get into the liquor cabinet. [ laughter ] seth i like that both because theyll think their parents are alcoholics, and even worse, like the words getting out. [ light laughter ] like people that dont even know her family are hearing this. Your sister, amy, who is one of our favorite guests on this show, is backstage thats very lovely that shes here to support you. Has she does she come out when youre doing readings does she come to the shows every now and then, you know, when im doing a show in the area and then we were just together in we went to paris she came to paris. She hadnt been there in a long time, so she came in january and we went to a couple fashion shows. It was exciting. Seth did you have a good time oh, yeah, we had a great time seth well, youre two of our favorites, and it is just a delight to have you here thank you so much. Oh, thank you [ cheers and applause seth David Sedaris, everybody. Pretty ugly is available now, and tickets for his tour are available at davidsedarisontour. 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[ cheers and applause seth shes a multiplatinum awardwinning singer songwriter whose album the glorification of sadness is out now performing bad woman, please welcome to the show paloma faith [ cheers and applause im a bad woman watch the chaos unfur the walls we built burn so i spin the wheel and then i call the shots in the end walk away fro my homestead say im better on my own instead well you ca have the glory while i driv into the sunset im not good girl im a bad woma im not good gir im a bad woman and you painted me this wa then act surprised when i changed im not a good girl im a bad woman picture perfect house of cards call me joke call it art i threw the dic and gambled it away not saying that it didnt hurt i paid my duty bed the curse i broke in tw to learn to be apart im not good girl im a bad woma im not good gir im a bad woman and you painted me this wa then act surprised when i changed im not a good girl im a bad woman so easy to blame m but no ones flawless i hope you find perfection but i know thatll never be me im not good girl im a bad woma im not good gir im a bad woman n and you painte me this wa then act surprised when i changed im not a good girl im a bad woman im not good girl im a bad woma im not good gir and ill never be and you painted me this wa then act surprised when i changed im not a good girl im a bad woman [ cheers and applause seth paloma faith, everyone. The glorification of sadness is out now well be right back with more late night. [ cheers and applause vo welcome to lobsterfest. Is your party ready . Ready to tango with tails on tails on tails . Try lobster lovers dream with two lobster tails and lobster shrimp linguini. Its one of ten nextlevel lobster creations. But lobsterfest wont last, so hurry in. You are such a good listener, thomas. It makes me feel so special. If you dont mind, if you. This makes me feel really special too because you know, discover is giving me cash back on debit. Not just credit. Discover gives cash back on debit to everyone. Everybody . Introducing discover cashback debit. Ohh. song in french book in the hotels. Com app to find your perfect somewhere. Leftover chicken, scallions, cheese. What am i gonna make with this . Mayow mayo . Mayow hellmanns . . You can talk . a Chicken Salad sandwich. 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Im adam schiff, and i approve this message. Announcer come join the audience at late night live in studio 8g. For tickets, head over to latenightsethtickets. Com follow us latenightseth on all social media platforms subscribe to late night seth on youtube. Find us online at latenightseth. Com. And subscribe to the late night podcast, featuring a closer look, guest interviews, and more available wherever you listen to podcasts overflowing with ideas and energy. Thats the San Francisco chronicle endorsing democrat katie porter for senate over all other options. Porter is easily the most impressive candidate. Known for her grilling of corporate executives. With deep policy knowledge. Katie porters housing plan has bipartisanfriendly ideas to bring homebuilding costs down. And the chronicle praises her ideas to end soft corruption in politics. Lets shake up the senate. With democrat katie porter. Im katie porter and i approve this message. Ugh. Cabin crew cross check. That yellows not gonna fly. Buckle up whoa reality checkup theres toothpaste white, and theres crest 3dwhitestrips white. Whitens like a 400 professional treatment. [pilot] prepare for nonstop smiles. Crest. Sometimes jonah wrestles with falling asleep. So he takes zzzquil. The worlds 1 sleep aid brand. And wakes up feeling like himself. Get the rest to be your best with nonhabit forming zzzquil. Bounced from one doctor with nonhabit fo to the next. Did they even send my lab work. . Wait, was i supposed to bring that . Then theres the forms. The bills. The not a bills. the. press 4 to repeat these options. [chaotic music] [inspirational music] healthcare can get a whole lot easier when your medical records, care and coverage are in one place. At kaiser permanente, all of us Work Together for all that is you. What do i see in peter dixon . I see my husband. The father of our girls. I see a public servant. A man who served under secretary clinton in the state department. Where he took on the epidemic of violence against women in the congo. I see a fighter, a tenacious problemsolver. Who will go to congress and protect abortion rights and our democracy. Because he sees a Better Future for all of us. Im peter dixon and i approved this message. [ cheers and applause seth i wanna thank my guests josh brolin, David Sedaris, paloma faith, everybody. [ cheers and applause i wanna thank adrian young and the 8g band. Thanks for watching. We love you, everybody [ cheers and applause