But dont take it from me. Take it from this jingle announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight, bleach bum plus, stephen welcomes john mulaney. And musical guest john fogerty, featuring jon batiste and stay y homin. And now, live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen hey, everybody. Welcome to a late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Just hearing the band do the theme song is strangely moving. I forgot how much i missed hearing those guys its how many days . How many days have we been doing this . 40 days. This is the 40th day that i have been quarantined with my wife and kids. I feel like noah, but i only have one dog, and hes only interested in my leg. We all want haircuts at this point. I did something drastic tonight, i combed my hair in the other direction just for a change of pace and that was a bad idea. First of all, im getting a very p atrician flop over here. This the very mid70s jackson brown. Over here, theres a lot of empty real estate i
Maybe it wont. What the hell do you got to lose . Its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight home sweet show plus, stephen welcomes conan obrien and musical guest michael stipe. Featuring jon batiste and stay homein. And now live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen hey, i was just pretend they go could be at home without a camera. Welcome to a late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Happy to be here. Happy. Tuesday, i think . It is tuesday. Good. Thank you, thank you, sir. I dont always know. Im so grateful that im still able to do a show for you guys and for all of you out there watching, one assumes. Its possible my producers are lying to me that were broadcasting at all. Sure, stephen, weve put a van on your front lawn. It talks to space. Now take a shower and shout into your phone. Whatever. Im grateful for something to do. Now, there is one aspect of the show that i have really been missing and that is my conversations with our friend jon batiste. Last c
Just drink at home. I honey . Eh its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight alone again, naturally. Plus, stephen welcomes Ryan Reynolds with jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen hey. How are you . Welcome back. So glad to see you here at a late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Its wednesday i think . That doesnt have the date on it. I think its wednesday. Its hard to tell. Because right now, every day feels like youre being humped. This is our seventh, i think seventh show . Seventh show without an audience. We did one in the theater before we left. We did three the week before the break, so this is seven. Happy to be here. Lovely to see you. Its strange, but its lovely. I actually did the math, and ive been selfisolating for 2 idate now. Did you know and i just found this out that the word quarantine comes from the italian quarantina, which means 40 days which is how long people were isolated during the plague . So
Or a 45minute tune about mixing up john adams and john quincy adams. Or a twohour ballad about martin van buren. And many more so order bob dylan sings lengthy songs about u. S. President s to help pass the time during the quarantine. And lets hope this quarantine ends soon, because there are only 45 president s. Announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight the zoom where it happens plus, stephen welcomes Speaker Nancy Pelosi and alicia keys with jon batiste and stay homein. And now, live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen hey, everybody. Welcome to a late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. I hope youre all doing well out there. Were good here. Though, ive got to say, one of the oddest things about doing the show at home from my little study here is that its starting to feel normal. And that is really weird. I mean, why is my son sitting on the floor wearing a headset talking to my director back in new york . Say hi to jim. Hi, jim. Stephen does he s
I mean, just close your mouth you eat like a barn animal survivor your house. Then stay tuned for ncis tiny apartment. Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight, all by my shelf plus stephen welcomes pod save america, john meacham and musical guest dave matthews, featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen welcome to a late show. Im Stephen Colbert. I was just talking to my son peter who is my crew. My wife is out getting me a cocktail. Its the last show of the week. I normally have a cocktail at the end of the last show of the week, but you knowco what . I dont think i can wait that long. Happy thursday. You see, during social isolation, ive asked my writers to mark the passage of time, so when i read this script ill know what day it is. Thursday. Today which, again, is thursday, stephen the coronavirus continues to ravage the country. But there are signs that social distancing is working, though that does