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Jon hey, welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. My guest tonight, alan greenspan. Alan greenspan joining us. Our top story tonight shutdown fallout. The republican shut down was so offensive top even independents and moderates that this country looks like its poised to turn bluer than a smurfs balls after dry humping a bottle of windex. [cheers and applause] i cant believe we have a picture for that. [laughter] all the democrats have to do to gain like an 80 to 20 advantage in this c...

Deal, i would say no deal. Hey, hey if i was on lets make a deal, no deal. Hey, if i was on deal of fortune, i would say isnt this show called wheel of fortune, still no deal. [laughter] what if he enter if they dont understand no or nooo, what do you have in a colorful analogy. When you are at the plant in the middle of your job do you ever say to your boss, unless i get a raise right now and more vacation pay, im going to just shutdown the plant . [laughter] jon im pretty sure you just describ...

Jon welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. Our guest tonight childhood friend of max browning, jonah hill is here. [cheers and applause] were excited about that. [cheers and applause] were excited about that. All in all i think we can all agree this has been an up and dun year but certainly not a good year for privacy. Between Edward Snowdens revelations about the nsa and the revelations that ikea is spying on its employees. Theres that now show howie mandel watches you poop. That so...

Hes an actor. I want to get this right away as Jason Collins becomes the first openly gay professional basketball player. As michael sam prepares to become the first openly gay nfl player the earth continues to spin on its axis and a plague of low justs has yet to descend upon america. Because of this lack of catastrophe its up to states like arizona to pick up the slack. Arizonas Legislature Passed the bill on thursday allows Business Owners as long as they assert their religious beliefs to den...

Agree this has been an up and dun year but certainly not a good year for privacy. Between Edward Snowdens revelations about the nsa and the revelations that ikea is spying on its employees. Theres that now show howie mandel watches you poop. That soon invasion. I didnt sign up to be a contestant yet there i was. [laughter] this week brings the most devastating privacy news yet. A bombshell revealed. Prosecutors say the now shut down world of the news newspaper hacked the royals phone. Jon you kn...

Remember the moment do you remember the moment it was about six months ago when you found out that George Zimmerman was acquitted for the shooting murder of Trayvon Martin and you were drinking a glass of milk and did a spittake but it wasnt like a funny spittake it was just kind of a sad one. It was not like oh, my god it was just you couldnt swallow milk in a world where people can just shoot people in a fight that they themselves instigated. Well, guess what . You probably shouldnt take a sip...

His own car was vibrating. Jon oh, my god that sounds terribly like every gas station and Convenience Store parking lot in america. [ laughter ] perhaps there was an extenuating circumstance. Do you have any type of ear damage . I do. Can you explain to the jury what damage you have and how you got that . Um, growing up in the keys scuba dive saying big part of is a big part of life and i have damage to my right ear. Jon and did this loud thumping create you any discomfort . Did it in my left ea...

In the southeastern part of ukraine that juts out to the black sea and is well known for its charges of its light brigades. [ laughter ] who against all odds dont actually win. You pretty much let me tell you something. You want to bet the odds on the light brigade because they go down pretty hard. Nobody . Tennyson, nobody . All right. Americans know nothing about the crimea beyond what was assigned to them in that one english class in eighth grade. I think crimea is lost. I dont think theyll p...

Open i was worried maybe we wouldnt use it enough to justify [laughter] how much money it was going to cost and now im worried that 2013 is is going to be limiting. [ laughter ] a lot of our attention has been focused on the capitol hill and the House Republicans but the president is also a player in all of this. What is his mind set with regard to a ceding of republican demands. See if you can read between the lines of his ring and index finger. Im not budging when it comes to the full faith an...

Jon hey, welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. My guest tonight, alan greenspan. Alan greenspan joining us. Our top story tonight shutdown fallout. The republican shut down was so offensive top even independents and moderates that this country looks like its poised to turn bluer than a smurfs balls after dry humping a bottle of windex. [cheers and applause] i cant believe we have a picture for that. [laughter] all the democrats have to do to gain like an 80 to 20 advantage in this c...