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Have 23 hours and 59 minutes left to fill. [ laughter ] bleep it lets go nuts. And they did. With everybody everything in their bag of tricks. Giant floor maps. Big flake airplanes. Little fake airplanes. Holographic airplanes. No airplane detail left unspoken. A plane like this is around 61, 62 meters end to tend. 6162 side to side. Jon you are telling them what a plane looks like . [laughter] did you forget who watches cnn . You could tell 90 of your viewers look out the airport window at the ...

For next february. [laughter] its the subject of tonights democalypse 2014. The 2016 foreplay edition. For all we know joe will be president. We dont know. [cheers and applause] just a fella we met. For all we know the 2016 election could come down to antibiotic resistant strep versus the exoskeleton of Donald Trumps hair helmet. [laughter] in the absence after this dream matchup can you give me a hint of who you have as the favorites to the runup of the hypothetical. President obama pointing to...

That it didnt seem like veterans had long waits before seeing doctors. laughter but you know t was a good system give or take a couple of scores of veterans we may have killed. I got so mad that i screamed into this jar t is a swear jar that i would scream into. Its pretty full now, unfortunately. Let me just [bleep] laughter [bleep]. Jon i think that might have been a three syllable one, i dont know. Well, good news, according to va secretary eric shinsekis congressional testimony last week, th...

[cheers and applause] thank you. Peter dinklage from the hit hbo show girls or game of thrones or one of them. Its all nudity to me. First theres been a Big Development in the Chris Christie pthebridgegate scandal. New results of the Chris Christie bridgegate scandal have been released today. Jon i wonder what the results will be of the investigation that Chris Christie himself commissioned. [laughter] perhaps ill read about it in this scandals paper of record the christie suntimespicayune. I ha...

Jon welcome to the daily show. What a show tonight. My name is jon stewart. Our guest tonight one of our favorites samuel l. Jackson. Were excited to have him back on the program. This is fun. But i want to jump right in. You may recall, you probably wont, we didnt. December 2013, General Motors one of americas oldest most often bankrupted auto makers made an historic move. They named a woman as its next ceo. Her name is mary barra. We have a new ceo who happens to be a woman, a car gal. Jon a c...

End of march. Jon and failure looks me me looks like we never have this information. Youll never get there. Allegedly four Million People signed up. They expect to three more million in one month. That is goag about a disaster jon disaster its a fever dream. Fit more by the outlandish opiate fiend as he lays on an alphabet city mattress. Watched chinatown. The deadline passed. Give us the total. 7. 1 million americans have signed up for private insurance plans through these marketplaces. 7. 1. J...

[ laughter ] heres the odd thing about the announcement darryl issa has already subpoenaed it to testify about benghazi. Tell us what you know, baby. [ laughter ] but congratulations to the clinton family. News media . Thats the 2016 president ial are speculatron baby. Does that factor in . Could it put a bump in hillarys 2016 plan . And is itselfist to ask . No silly billy, its not sexist. Even though it is a question that has never ever been posed to a male candidate ever. For god sakes, mitt ...

Conversation. As you know, our good friends over at the Fox News Network are somewhat obsessed with a certain topic. Ill give you a hint. It starts with b three syllables. Benghazi,. Benghazi. Benghazi. Jon new york city but i can see where you might have got than impression. No new york city. Its a different three syllable syllable no, no, its a different three syllable b word. Beyonce. Jon yeah, beyonce. [ laughter ] as the singer herself has been mispronouncing it all these year beyonce. Mayb...

Or you may not remember, you may have been watching basketball. We addressed a minor incident in our otherwise spotless department of veterans affairs. Something about the phoenix va workers falsifying patient waiting lists so that it didnt seem like veterans had long waits before seeing doctors. laughter but you know t was a good system give or take a couple of scores of veterans we may have killed. I got so mad that i screamed into this jar t is a swear jar that i would scream into. Its pretty...

They realized oh, bleep we have 23 hours and 59 minutes left to fill. [ laughter ] bleep it lets go nuts. And they did. With everybody everything in their bag of tricks. Giant floor maps. Big flake airplanes. Little fake airplanes. Holographic airplanes. No airplane detail left unspoken. A plane like this is around 61, 62 meters end to tend. 6162 side to side. Jon you are telling them what a plane looks like . [laughter] did you forget who watches cnn . You could tell 90 of your viewers look out...