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Michael bloombergs shoes, tiny, tiny shoes. laughter hes very small. You i have a pair of his shoes right here. I took them from his arm other, i have his az rmoire as well. There we are, there are his little shoes. Im michael bloomberg. Im going to work. cheers and applause jon actually, very interesting. He puts these on every morning and commutes to work on the subway. Rat, he rides a rat because hes tiny. Its funny story, were actually laughter but im actually obviously i cant take the subwa...

It was nice knowing you. Lets just hope nothing like this ever happens again. Probably wont, not for another year. Check that, a couple days. [gasps] dad hey, dad what . My wiener is all stiff and pointy oh, well, butters, thats just the friendly compass. See, whenever you have friends in the area, your little compass there tells you where they are. Its pointing up, because jesus is your friend. Thanks, dad. From Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jo...

Except you dont die quick and you dont get thinner and love is being the owner of the company that makes rape whistles and even though you started the company with good intentions trying to reduce the rate of rape now you dont want to reduce it at all because if the rape rate declines youll see an equal decline in whistle sales [ laughter ] without rapists, whos gonna buy your whistle . [ cheers and applause ] whos gonna buy your whistle . Yeah i said, whos gonna buy your whistle . Yeah without ...

On a little show called politically incorrect. You camea guest on as a guest and i said, i am hopeful to work with you. I have enjoyed 10 years of meaningful television. I feel blessed to work on two of the best talk shows. Tavis glad to have you on a team directing this operation. You need to get back to your spot of directing me. Tell us what is coming up tonight. We are glad you joined us for a conversation with actor james cromwell, coming up right now. There is a saying dr. King has. There ...

From Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. [daily show theme song playing] [cheers and applause] captioning sponsored by Comedy Central jon welcome to the daily show. You magnificent bastards. [ laughter ] weve got a good one for you tonight. Cbs news man Bob Schieffer he will be talking about the News Business of which he is a part. Were going to begin tonight. Theres a lot of stories. I dont even know where to start. [ laughter ] lets see...

Pay a little extra. Her death was ruled accidental by police, who then stripped offer their uniforms and waved their [bleep]s to rock you like a hurricane. Thats our show. See you soon, but not too soon. Two old guys for the muppet show. If i [bleep] will you ejaculate . Yeah. How many of you guys have cats with middle names . Enough with the bread already. From Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. [daily show theme song playing] [cheers a...

Filming the footage for what we assume will be his forthcoming vh1 behind the music episode. He was riding high as mayor of toronto but how high no one had any idea. [ laughter ] of course, for quite some time rob ford was denying he was a smoker of crack cocaine he recently amended that statement slightly on tuesday. Yes, i have smoked crack cocaine. Jon oh, crack cocaine, i thought you had asked had you tried jack lalaine, or hijacked a plane or if there are any blacks in maine. Thats what i t...

We assume will be his forthcoming vh1 behind the music episode. He was riding high as mayor of toronto but how high no one had any idea. [ laughter ] of course, for quite some time rob ford was denying he was a smoker of crack cocaine he recently amended that statement slightly on tuesday. Yes, i have smoked crack cocaine. Jon oh, crack cocaine, i thought you had asked had you tried jack lalaine, or hijacked a plane or if there are any blacks in maine. Thats what i thought. My hearing is not goo...

Admission. What is going to test his ability to stay in Public Office today . A brand new video of crack smoking mayor of toronto rob ford. bleep he dies or i die. bleep ill rip his throat out his eyes out bleep bleep . [ laughter ] jon all right. Well [laughter] i dont know what he was saying but it clearly looked ike outtakes from tommy boy. This is where its going. [laughter] terrible camera work, by the way. Has it occurred to mayor rob ford that all these videos of him smoking crack and act...

You like just like, you got me, buddy which is Pretty Amazing cause i have all the words. laughter yeah, and that doesnt look like any of em. I cant even make a guess thats so screwed up. Whatd you like pass out and whack your head off the keyboard . Please tell me youre not that stupid. All right. Thats it for me. You guys were a lot of fun thank you very much captioning made possible by Comedy Central. Captioned by mccaptioning services. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central from Comedy Centr...