to leave behind. i needed to leave these people behind me. i needed to leave that life behind me. and do something that is better for my health, better for my kids, better probably for my longevity. >> larry: you know, when it happens, and we hope it doesn't happen, john's going to get hit awful hard. you know he's going to take a brutal beating. >> which, you know, he has to be responsible for himself. just breaks my heart for my children. because one of the things that i really want is for them to have -- because they'll need it. they'll need to have a good relationship with their father. and so that's enormously important to me. he's been a great father to them in a lot of ways. in some ways, has he failed them? yes. but in so many ways he's been really a spectacular father. and i want them to have that. so if he's getting beat up, it's just going to make that more difficu