get more serious. really the only time i would really talk to people would be in game and so it became just where i would go all the time. anything that wasn't really required i really wouldn't do at all. i stopped working out on my own for basketball. and i would not go to any classes. >> eventually, john dropped out of school. and stopped speaking altogether. how many days could you go without actually talking? >> i could go any number of days i guess. i would just feel alone. like no one could understand me. and that's when i was considering suicide and i started planning it. but i didn't want to hurt my family and so i just told them i needed help. >> john had a choice. give in to the darkness or find