How do you do, fellow Trash Pandas? I am Elinor Jones, and this is...THE TRASH REPORT. Like many of you, I spent much of the past week iced into my home with my beloved family, anxiously refreshing the weather app on my phone to see when these people whom I love so dearly would get the fuck out of my house. I've never been so grateful to see slushy puddles in all my life. I...