you don't have to do it to yourself. your mind, ego will beat you up all the time. we are bigger. being, spirit, whatever you want to call it, there's something larger. we need our mind to stay out of traffic, move around, do great things and write stuff, but it isn't the whole of us. that other place, that experience place, where you can look at your mind, make up stories about yourself or other people. instead of saying that was mean of you, look at it like the zen philosophy. you observe it. become observer. then you say, if my mind is saying this, who is observing? who is observing without judgment? that is part of who we are. that is that being place where we are connected to everybody. i think people can give themselves a chance.