and so on. when you watch the movie, what did you feel about the reality? because only you would know, really? >> i -- you know, it was shocking, i saw the movie the first time with my fiancee and we were speechless afterwards, and i was. >> in a good or a bad way? >> in a good way, i guess for me, it's different than -- the audience sees it, i think they're speechless because they're overwhelmed with sensory overload. for me, it was trying to -- i had come to terms with my old life. it was a cathartic experience for me. to see it on film like that, with someone that did such a good job, i literally felt like i was sweating in certain points, where the cocaine was being snorted. i got sympathetic reactions to it. >> all that was true. >> the thing about jordan, it's all true. let's go through some of the things about the movie. i loved the movie. regardless of the moral issues it raises, it's a brilliant