By Leslie Milk | March 7, 2021 Illustration by Ellen Byrne The first year of widowhood, I got sympathy. “Oh, you poor thing, you’re so alone.” The second and third years, I got subtle hints. “Your husband wouldn’t want you to be alone.” By year four, the messages were very clear. “You’re still alone? Haven’t you ever heard of online dating?” So in January 2020 I signed up for Jdate, the site ostensibly for Jewish singles, for three months. It was excruciating. It was humiliating. I turned out to be a wallflower on the web. I only went on two dates—both with the same guy.