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KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live July 12, 2024

Did the other two guys pass away . My mom told me i was too stiff and that my suit didnt fit. And my dad wanted to know why i didnt mention my Cousins Construction company. Im just so glad to be working again. My days normally start out with the zoom preschool circle time song, the joeys are here today. The joeys are here today. Hip hip hip hooray. The joeys are here today. So glad i missed that song. Next, put sunscreen on my kids. Growing up, i dont even think my parents knew what sunscreen was. My father used to lather me up with olive oil so i could get a beautiful tan at the age of three. Then snack. Then lunch. And when theyre done with lunch then we snack again. Then i take the kids on a walk where somehow, i am the only one walking. Then its nap time, for me. Next, i watch eight minutes of tangled, four minutes of trolls, and 30 minutes of cinderella. Then i negotiate how many bites of dinner equals a popsicle treat. ....

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KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live July 12, 2024

The joeys are here today. So glad i missed that song. Next, put sunscreen on my kids. Growing up, i dont even think my parents knew what sunscreen was. My father used to lather me up with olive oil so i could get a beautiful tan at the age of three. Then snack. Then lunch. And when theyre done with lunch then we snack again. Then i take the kids on a walk where somehow, i am the only one walking. Then its nap time, for me. Next, i watch eight minutes of tangled, four minutes of trolls, and 30 minutes of cinderella. Then i negotiate how many bites of dinner equals a popsicle treat. Then its bath time where i somehow proceed to get more wet than the kids who are inside the bathtub. Next is story time. Then bed time. Then i cry in a corner wondering if i am spending enough time with my kids. I want to set the record straight on something tonight. Quarantine . Was invented by italians. The word quarantine comes from the italian words quaranta giorni, which mean 40 days. During the plague, ....

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KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert July 12, 2024

Every single one of you that are obeying the devils laws are going to be arrested. I dont wear a mask for the same reason i dont wear underwear. Things got to breathe. Its the late show with stephen colbert. Tonights johnny come lately plus stephen welcomes mary trump featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now live on tape from a safe distance its stephen colbert. Stephen you look worried, is that just your attempt to stay away . Come on coach, are you, thank you. Welcome to a late show, im your host stephen colbert. I hope are you all staying safe out there. Step up with, dont be out there, stay in there, because coronavirus is spreading like trumps backside on a lawn chair and yesterday the president had his first covid19 briefing in three months where he announced some startling news. Hes noticed reality. It will probably, unfortunately, get worse before it gets better. That is a Trump Presidency promise, it gets worse. Yo ....

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KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live July 12, 2024

Ah, theres nothing sexier than a grown man wearing a mouth guard. And i thought id had the last laugh, until tonight. When jimmy tricked me into hosting his show from a creepy empty house. Good one jim. All kidding aside, im excited to do this. Its a totally new experience for me. Ive never done a monologue or interviewed celebrities, but before this year id also never gone to whole foods in a hazmat suit. So lets give it a shot. Ill tell you a little bit about myself. Since everyone asks, yes dua lipa is my real name. And you can probably guess where i went to school based on my accent. Hogwarts. House gryffindor. Obviously. Ive won two grammys and have 17 tattoos. Thats true. Ill show you a few. I have this rose, which is a plant that grows outside. Remember outside . I have a tattoo that says this means nothing, which means something. I cant remember. This one says future nostalgia, which is the name of my new album. Lots of artists do this actually. Thats why
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COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah July 12, 2024

With trevor noah. In the wake of the black lives matter protests that swement the globe, people have started to examine every part of our society to try and root out the underlying biases that exist. From the police to corporate hiring practices and even pancake syrup. And with all the problems having been solved, now we are moving to outer space. Nasa is reexamining some of the nicknames it uses for distant objects in outer space. The Scientific Community sometimes refers to those cosmic objects using unofficial names. Nasa says the problem is that some of the names are insensitive and even actively harmful. For example, the nick nickname for a planetary nebula ngc2392 was eskimo nebula, they are also doing away with the term Siamese Twins galaxy used to refer to a pair of spirl galaxies in the virgo cluster. Trevor thats right, people. Nasa is making space woke. And im ....

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