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Save this story for later. WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In an employment trend that industry leaders are calling “dire,” thousands of Presidential fact checkers have been laid off during Joe Biden’s first hundred days in office. Harland Dorrinson, the executive director of the American Society of Presidential Fact Checkers, said that Biden has single-handedly destroyed the employment picture for many of the group’s members. “Over the past three months, America’s Presidential-falsehood infrastructure has all but collapsed,” Dorrinson said. “We h...

Save this story for later. WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene lambasted President Biden’s proposal for free preschool by declaring, “I refuse to go.” Speaking to reporters, the Georgia congresswoman called preschool “just another form of mind control” and said that she would rather “hold my breath until I turn blue” than attend such a school. “Joe Biden would like nothing better than to see me sitting on a colorful rug, singing, ‘Do you know what time it is?’ ” she said. “I’ll tell you...

Save this story for later. WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene, a leading member of the new America First caucus, is calling for the development of what she called “Anglo-Saxon space lasers.” “Anglo-Saxons have for too long ceded space-laser superiority to the airborne laser beams of foreign banking élites,” she said. “This shall not stand on my watch.” She took the opportunity to reassure her concerned QAnon supporters that she would be able to serve both QAnon and Anglo-Saxonhood at the same time. “I can multitask,” she promised. Greene ...

Facebook adds labels to satire pages because people can’t tell what’s real So people stop sharing satire thinking it's real news Story by Shares Facebook has begun adding labels to satire pages so that it can make extra sure that people aren’t confusing satire for, you know, real news. While internet-saavy folk generally know how to tell ‘real’ news apart from satire, the truth is that many Facebook users do not. It is too common of an occurrence to see someone share an article from The Onion or The Borowitz Report as if it were serious news.

Save this story for later. ATLANTA (The Borowitz Report)—In a sign that Republicans’ war on the carbonated beverage could be backfiring, a new poll of Georgia’s voters finds Governor Brian Kemp losing overwhelmingly to a can of Coca-Cola. According to the poll, which has a margin of error of four points, seventy-one per cent of Georgia voters preferred a can of the fizzy drink, while only twenty-three per cent chose Kemp. Although the can of soda predictably performed better than Kemp when voters were asked which was more refreshing, it also bested the incumbent governor on the...