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KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon July 14, 2024

[ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy oh my goodness, thank you very much, i love you oh, i love you please have a seat thank you very much. I love you welcome, relax, enjoy yourself welcome, everybody welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. Thank you so much for being here thank you for watching at home you guys [ cheers and applause im very excited about this. It chapter 2 comes out this weekend. [ cheers ] when they heard that, actual clowns were like, oh, come on i was just starting to get work again. I mean come on [ laughter ] lets get to some news here. I read that President Trump promised that if hes reelected, hell build 500 miles of border wall yep, and if hes not reelected hell just draw a wall with a sharpie. [ laughter ] but this is odd. [ light laughter ] i didnt do it. Thats the way the wall was. [ laughter ] but this is odd right here, the
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KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers July 14, 2024

[ light laughter ] probrexit politician Boris Johnson was officially elected today to become the uks next prime minister. Great. In 70 years, the uk has gone from Winston Churchill to a roady for spinal tap [ light laughter ] President Trump continued his attacks on minority congresswomen today tweeting the quote, aoc plus three are a nightmare for america. Although technically for trump, anything that involves math is a nightmare. [ laughter and applause aoc plus three, how do you how do you add letters to a number . Several bars in washington, d. C. Will open early tomorrow so people can watch special counsel Robert Muellers congressional testimony. So by dinnertime, youll be just like the mueller report, mostly blacked out. [ laughter ] [ applause ] according ....

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COM The Daily Show July 14, 2024

Quirqueer eye fab five now out with a new book, antoni porowski is joining us, everybody also on tonights show, the big weekend in sports, a democrat whos getting real support, and President Trump is beefing with everyone. Alabama, might prepare yourself because the hurricane is totally coming back. Lets catch up on todays headlines. Lets kick it off wan update on that big College Cheating scandal. Tv star Felicity Huffman has now pled guilty to paying a service to fake her daughters test scores and prosecutors are asking the judge to throw the book at her. Trevor Felicity Huffman is scheduled to be sentenced next week for her role in the massive College Admissions scandal. Federal prosecutors are ca ....

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KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers July 14, 2024

The taliban at camp david to discuss a peace agreement. And if youre wondering where we are as a nation, my first thought was, i dont know, ill believe it when i hear it from the taliban. [ laughter ] the Washington Post has published a new article calling former Vice President joe biden and senator Elizabeth Warren frenemies. Even crazier, they referred to john delaney and Michael Bennett as candidates. [ laughter ] President Trump told reporters today that he would release a report on his finances before the 2020 election. And said that people will be shocked that the numbers are many, many times what you think. Okay, but anything times zero is zero [ laughter ] [ applause ] duchess
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COM The Daily Show July 14, 2024

[growling] not enough, huh . Maybe the intense flavor of mint will freshen things up [wind gusting] i reach the gulf of mexico in no time and with all my strength, i drag cthulhu back to the depths from whence he came my trusty hero companions are there, still alive i return them to their world encased in a protective berry bubble. Then its back down to seal up the hole created by the bp oil company, returning home only momentarily to flip off my fat sister. Dude, thanks for getting us out of that dark oblivion, mintberry crunch. No, no we worked as a team all the coon and friends stopped the bp drilling spill crisis and finally the evil coon is right where he belongs. Come on, you guys, this is [bleep] bullcrap. Let me out youre not going anywhere for a long time. This is inhumane theres a big bucket with butters poop in here, and theres nothing to eat you got poop, dont ya . Well, im off. There are still many more questions left unanswered. I need to know what happened to my parents. ....

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