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Because its you almost feel like its depressing that hes not a mastermind that is planning all of this. We are just all dealing with a buffoon is almost what youre saying. Yeah, hes stupid. [laughter] [cheers and applause] [patriotic music] boo [coughs] welcome to the fake news. Im ted nelms. Thanks for inviting me into your home. I love what youve done with the place. Weve got a lot to get to, so lets jump right in. First, hurricane randy on the warpath. Destination, florida. Main course, massive damage. All that despite having the really laidback, cool name of randy. Then, President Trump st...

Cheers and applause but first, big news out of china. A major scientific breakthrough reported globally tonight for the first time scientists in china have cloned two healthy monkeys. These two female monkeys are seven and eight weeks old and represent the next big step in cloning. This is the first time primates have been cloned. The chinese Scientists Say they have no intention of cloning humans. Trevor really . laughter making duplicate monkeys . Thats how committed china is to producing cheap knockoffs . laughter theyre infringing on gods copyright . Really . laughter by the way, i love ho...

To zoom in a little bit. The earthquake struck at exactly 5 28. And there were a lot of quakes overnight. In fact, there were about 11 that were 1. 5 or bigger. I mention this only a few minutes ago on our newscast. I want to show you some replies since then from people who felt the shaking. Amy p saying im in alamo and it felt big. My tv was shaking. Liz mullen says third one was a charm. Shake rattle and roll. Mark h, saying felt both because i mentioned in my tweet here the danville earthquake that was earlier. 2. 4 as well overnight. He said felt both. Apparently weve had 13 since 11 30 p....

Its very dry. You dont believe me. Its very dry out there right now. Look at the winds. They are calming down in most neighborhoods. Sue and i noticed theyre still up pretty much. Look at that. You can barely see on the right side of the screen, thats the ferry building. San francisco. You can seep the flags moving just a little bit right there. Its over open water you find the fastest breezes. My accuweather 12hour planner, 30, 38 at the coast. 50, sunshine at noon. It will feel warmer today. Temperatures in the same spot. Low to mid50s. Because it wont be breezy. The bridge, we have high win...

I love you, baby murray. I love you. [crying] from comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause trevor welcome to the daily show, everybody thank you so much for tuning in im trevor noah. Thank you, everybody thank you tonights guest, the president of planned parenthood, Cecile Richards is here, everybody cheers and applause but first, big news out of china. A major scientific breakthrough reported globally tonight for the first time scientists in china have cloned two healthy monkeys. These two female monkeys are seven and e...