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Executive amnesty. Executive amnesty. Executive amnesty. Stephen regular amnesty isnt good enough for barrack. My great great grandfather did not come here from ireland to see this country overrun by immigrants. He came here because he killed a guy. I mean what happened to checks and balances served. Theres supposed to be three batches of government. Executive, judicial and spitefl e enertis. The emperor of the United States is going to declare war on the u. S. Constitution. Stephen oh hail barackus maximus. This lawless overreach makes me fear for my nation. I just hope calmer heads and voice...

[ dallas theme music ] captioning sponsored by Comedy Central cheers and applause from austin, texas. A city so liberal a guitar can marry a cowboy boot. Its the daily show coverage. Goes to the one part of texas where we wont get shot at. [ applause ] p jon thank you thank you so much welcome to the show thank you so much. Wow, what an honor to be here in austin, texas only open carry ebola state in the union. We are thrilled to be here in austin. We have a nice week planned. The midterm elections, wendy davis is here. [ cheering and applause ] really the big story in the country continues it...

As always. This year i got the wish bone and my wish came true. The doctors were able to remove it from my throat. laughter of course i was off all last week. So there is a lot of news to dach up on. Starting with a major conflict once again in a troubled desert region. laughter dont get cocky, kid. Whooo. The new star wars trail ter dropped over thanksgiving weekend. And it was all anyone in my family could talk about. Which, unfortunately, lead to my aunt rita saying some horribly racist things it about the gungan. Folks, i, i am the original fan of star wars. In 1977, this is a true story, ...

Stephen thanks for being here sorry, folks. Ive got to do this first. Thanks so much for being here. The show will start in just one minute. Sorry, folks, big freeze moving in. Im just putting down some salt. Dont need a lawsuit on my hands. And some pepper. cuz the weather outside is frightful. 200 million americans are in the middle of the cold snap today. 50 of the country blanketed in snow. This Minnesota Lake turned to solid ice a rare prethanksgiving deep freeze. Freezing temperatures in all 50 states. Stephen all 50. Even hawaii where aloha now means hello, goodbye, and my nipples could...

It has seen controversy from a gay player that couldnt kick hard enough is to a straight player that could and shouldnt of hit at all, really. To a team on paper before the season should of been in the hupt. Do we have an offensive line, not have an offensive line . Are the prediction schemes hilarious and under escalated. The point is this [beep] odel beckham jr. , man. Okay. Not a futbol crowd. More of a journalism crowd. Journalism. On i give the Worst Career Advice in the history. You know what you should do. Should you drop out of school and hang out around the improve theater. Thats what...