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Very good to have you. Hey, heres a tidbit i found interesting today. We are now 97 days away from the president ial election. We still have 97 more days of this. I have a 2yearold daughter. I realized this morning this campaign has been going on for more than half her life. I feel its been going on for more than half my life now. Donald trump is in the middle of so much today i hardly know where to start. First of all, he was talking about bernie sanders. An came up with a new nickname for hillary clinton. If he would have just not done anything, just go home, go to sleep, relax, he would hav...

Captioning sponsored by cbs stephen well that was a great vacation, but i was totally unplugged for the last week. I have no idea what happened in the news. So opus, plug me in. laughter screaming shot that gorilla tonight, stephen welcomes james corden, Scott Speedman and a musical performance by death cab for cutie featuring jon batiste and stay human cheers and applause and now its time for the late stephen hey cheers and applause hey everybody hi way up there welcome to the late show, everybody cheers and applause thank you very much yeah Whoo Whoo Whoo cheers and applause hey i dont know....

Cheers and applause stephen hey cheers and applause hey everybody hi way up there welcome to the late show, everybody cheers and applause thank you very much yeah Whoo Whoo Whoo cheers and applause hey i dont know. Can ya tell . Had a week off, ladies and gentlemen . Im energized, fully loaded and both tanks are charged, folks, and it is great to be back. We were on break for the last ten days, and i hit my target weight which was to gain one pound a day. laughter a little bit of drinking, a little bit of fishing. Dont matter what kind of fish it was because once you deep fry it, cant tell wha...

I host the late show and live means now. Oh, my gosh ive got to think of something fast got it hit it, jon . . . . This week you and me . We will witness history as the r. N. C. Crowns their orange manatee . W s crazy ties worn by thousands of white guys . An entire airplane hangar filled with Donald Trumps exwives . . Well see newt, ron and rand, maybe members of the klan . . But no muslims or latinos because i think theyve all been banned . . It will be crazy you cant deny . Its like christmas in july . Its the finest place youve seena . It can nearly fit each person fired by Carly Fiorina ....

Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now live from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its time for the 2016 trumpublican donational conventrump starring donald trump as the republican party. May contain traces of republican. cheers and applause captioning sponsored by cbs cheers and applause stephen pow boom, pow thank you cheers and applause audience chanting stephen thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much. cheers and applause thats awful nice. Feels good wow welcome to the late show coming to you live from the ed sullivan theater. Im stephen colbert. Thank you all for ...