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Keir Starmer's campaign launch in Essex today sounded like a post-war Flash 'Arry spiv setting up a Find The Lady scam on top of a battered suitcase on Oxford Street, says RICHARD LITTLEJOHN.
RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: From what I can gather, Sue Ellen's crime was to press the wrong button on her iPhone and send an unencrypted message or six to the wrong recipient. It happens.
RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: The number of immigrants illegally crossing the Channel has already overtaken the record 28,000 who arrived by dinghy last year.
RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: There's a catch. Of course there is. Tucked away in the small print of Priti Flamingo's asylum deal with Rwanda is a clause that could come back to haunt her.
RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: Russia has been booted out of the Eurovision Song Contest. That should make all the difference. To be honest, I wasn't aware that Russia even entered the Eurovision Song Contest.