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Know thanks. Folks, i dont know if you had time to catch up on your this weekend. I hope did you because if you did, folks, if you managed to watch some tv this weekend, i hope you caught up on the nfl draft. Because itsed only place these days you can still see College Graduates getting jobs. As always the big story was which player would be the number one pick. Or of the last 8 picks of the 7th round. In the 2014 nfl draft, the st. Louis rams select michael sam defensive end. Michael sam drafted by the st. Louis rams becoming the first openly gay player ever drafted. Stephen first openly gay...

[cheers and applause] jon thats our show. Here it is your moment of zen. Kinko demayo drink up. Take a shot here to get the thing sta captioning sponsored by Comedy Central cheers and applause stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen welcome to the report, everybody. Good to have you with us. Nation, i hope you had a good weekend. I know i did. Folks, what an incredible and exciting weekend. I done know if you had time to do this, i dont know thanks. Folks, i dont know if you had time to catch up on your this weekend. I hope did you because if you did, folks, if you managed ...

Just pass the phone to whatever garrison wants to call himself since the sex change operation. Sex change operation . Uhoh. Aghghgh. Youre a man . Not anymore. Ive been fixed. Richard, hold on. I can explain. Explain . How could i be so stupid . Richard, come back, please. Well, go ahead and leave, you atheist faggot have a fun time mocking god in hell you queer mr. Garrison . Mr. Garrison . All right, eric. Are you all set to go . Go. Right. Where am i going . We told you. Were sending you home. With the cranknwank time machine. Dont worry, my son. When you return to your time, you will merge...

Seemed the only way that these United States might avoid war with syria was through our usual semantic shenanigans. We would bomb them but we would call it a freedom play date. You know what im talking about. But over the weekend the wings of war shifted dramatically. Secretary of state john kerry and russia top diplomats could end syria weapons program. They sealed a deal in geneva one that could leave syria with no chemical weapons by the end of next year. We i condition believe it we pulled it we managed not to have a war withson somebody . I done you dont get a war. And you dont get a war ...

Nation, i hope you had a good weekend. I know i did. Folks, what an incredible and exciting weekend. I done know if you had time to do this, i dont know thanks. Folks, i dont know if you had time to catch up on your this weekend. I hope did you because if you did, folks, if you managed to watch some tv this weekend, i hope you caught up on the nfl draft. Because itsed only place these days you can still see College Graduates getting jobs. As always the big story was which player would be the number one pick. Or of the last 8 picks of the 7th round. In the 2014 nfl draft, the st. Louis rams sel...