Bananas to get bit. greg: you know what s funny? i still like, you know, martha, i m still hung up on the austria part. do you know anybody who s gone to austria? it s not australia, it s not germany, it s this weird mix of australia and germany. austria. martha: no, not sfleel where is it? martha: actually austria near germany, it is a been its own country since the empire. greg: i will aie see it when i believes it. tyrus: sound of. martha: not like check slovakia which is czech republic and slovakia. i m so happy i don t have to talk about the spider and the impact. tyrus: i think i covered that. martha: they should call it the wandering eye spider and i think it is a probably scaryier to most men than a barbie movey lately. greg: that is true. martha: but austria definitely a country r put it on
Sponsored by ipana toothpaste. greg: ipana toothpaste. yep. nothing but the best sponsors for gutfeld. in tonight s is this even real, a grocery store in austria, i didn t even know that austria was real anymore. right? didn t they change their name? martha: no. greg: stop it martha. don t fact check me. apparently austria has been shut down because there s a dangerous spider hiding in a bunch of bananas and if the spider bites you could give men permanent erections. we go live to a local bar for reaction. [cheers and applause] greg: kat, i go to you first. is this story real? kat: i think it s made up. i think some guy had an erection
greg: i think we beat this topic to the ground. up next, can a spider in aisle six help men get their kicks? so you only pay for what you need. that s my boy. stay off the freeways! only pay for what you need. liberty. liberty. liberty. liberty. we re reinventing our network. .with smarter, more efficient routes. .so you can deliver more value to your customers. fast. reliable. perfectly orchestrated. the united states postal service.
Had an when he wasn t supposed to, and he was like, babe, i tst hav must have been the bananae spider. spider and the banana i ate earlier. and all of his boy banans are b them up like, yeah, that totally happened to me too. toand now here we are now.en and all these men going, they re claiming to have low potassium. listen , nobody wants that t power. nobody. well, yeah. what are you going to do with io do wt? o no, because right now, most of the week, you ll just hange t a haher tht coat. really? it s not going to changecoat, i r attitudeno. well, it s like that all thell time, so we just. i ll just get back to yo tu on.t yeah, exactly. going anywhere? it s not going anywhere, but. yeah. no ge.nos is, actually is true.u it does, but it s not. it s not as fun as you think, fellas yeah, you shouldn t. you re an expert in this sort of. yeah, well , if i get bit by a spider, i won t know what time it is. but, yeah, they do live in and they bite you. yeahim bit. oh, yeah. y rock hard. you can cut diamonds. the coal part is eventually will explodeeak . no one s want to go nea r that. yeah so it s for all you guysto
Running to bananas to get bit. u hmm. you know, it s funny kwh. , i m still like, you know, martha, i m still hung u, pdo yu on the austria part. did you know anybody who s gone to austria like, not australia? no, it s not germany. it s thiots mix of australia and germany. austria o? ot sflee no, not really. actually, austril wha. yeah, once. twice last year. it s its own country. it s been its own country since the austro-hungarian empire. i ll see that. it s not australia, it s not the music. it s not like czechoslovak ikea ,which is czech republic and slovakia. now, maybe you were thinking about that, but i just am sod happy that i don t have to talk about the spider and the impact. i think i covered you.e you think? yes. they should call it the wandering eyes. spider they sh, because and i thinkr it s probably scarier to most men than a barbit mee movie lata yes, that s true.t although. but austria is definitelisy
Your country list. tyrus: i ve been there, nice place. greg: what s the capitol of austria. tyrus: germany [laughter] greg: all right, jamie, close out this show with a sparkling example of your whit with jokes that require long setups. jamie: well, first of all, i hope this is true or i wasted a lot of money this weekend on a tattoo that says here spider spider spider. i looked deeper into this, you get a four-hour erection. oh, man, i haven t had one of those since women s volleyball was in the olympics. greg: that s good, keep going. we have some time. i m not letting you off the hook. jamie: yeah. greg: use some of the material you think is too edgy. jamie: i thought side effects yeah, permanent erection seems like, it seems
Right? yeah. yeah. seems was too long. i thought side effects had to be negative. well, you knowha ne, you do bring up: yo an interesting point. like, you know, what s weird is those weren tu good jokes, but, like, whenever there s a subject about literally any other stor there s ay have, lik jokes. yeah, right. but. but then it s about a whent s . got nothing. yeah, you can. you crack under the pressurerac it s the fear of the unknown. you want the spider to bitown.et and you don t want the spider c to bite you. there s a chance. the spider bite e you.d and somehow you could walk around the rest of your life. ten hut. and everybody maybuld walke jusy enough to work. you have. you have a no yes when it comesugh to to a jokes, he has performance e anxiety. yeah. oh, yeahn it jokes. and then that s okay they re involved in their. ight all right, jamie, let s say austria. i m sorry i don t draw fromneggr austria. yes, exactl y. xactly it s not real.. we ll be right back.ea
sponsored by panda toothpaste. i panda toothpaste? ye ip nothing but the bestt the sponsors forbe gutfeld. tonight, is this even real? a grocery store in austriaor. i didn t even know that austria was real anymore. right? righ they change their namep anyway. stop it, martha. don itt fact check me. apparently, austria has reportedly been shut down because there s a dangerous spider hiding in a bunch of banana as. and the spider, if it bites,e you could give men permanent. we go live to a local for reaction. kat, i go to you first. is this story real?or i think it s made up.y ? really? yeah. i think that kati thin guy atn
Topic to the ground. but up next, get a spider. i ll six help men get their kicks. hi, i m mike huckabee, governor of arkansas. and i m here today to tell you about a hidden health crisis currently affecting nearly every american sleep. and that s why you need to know about relaxium sleep. you see, getting a good night s sleep helps support a healthy immune system, helps maintain a healthy blood pressure, healthy cardiovascular system and a double blind placebo. clinical trial relaxium sleep help people fall asleep faster, stay asleep longer and wake up feeling refreshed. relaxium triple action formula developed by renowned neurologist and sleep expert dr. eric ciliberti. it ll regulate your natural sleep cycle, relax your body and calm the mind for better sleep through the whole night. call today and get your very own risk free bottle of relaxium sleep