Page 35 - Check Connection News Today

Dont need a lawsuit on my hands. And some pepper. cuz the weather outside is frightful. 200 million americans are in the middle of the cold snap today. 50 of the country blanketed in snow. This Minnesota Lake turned to solid ice a rare prethanksgiving deep freeze. Freezing temperatures in all 50 states. Stephen all 50. Even hawaii where aloha now means hello, goodbye, and my nipples could slice pineapple. And do not confuse this cold snap with last years polar vortex. Its completely different. T...

This is the colbert report cheers and applause captioning sponsored by Comedy Central eagle caw cheers and applause stephen welcome to the report. audience chanting stephen cheers and applause stephen well come to the report good to have you with us thank you so much for being here nation, today is the first monday in october, the start of the Supreme Courts new session, and i am pumped to the gavels. Its like the start of football season, only, unlike the n. F. L. , the players go to court. lau...

Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen. Stephen welcome to the report, everybody. Thank you for joining us. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Hold on a second, folks. Folks. Ill be with you in a second. I just have too finish up here. Folks, the whieft crin establishment is under attack again and i am just whittling myself a little personal defense cross, okay. And if anybody comes at me i can give them a little salvation right in the jugular. All right. If they get past that, ive got this knife...

Something about it. Republicans dominate state governments this time around, also eager to fix obamacare. There are some changes to obamacare that i think both parties can agree to. Were going to have to show that we have ideas, that we are going topaz legislation and try to fix obamacare. Stephen yes, after more than 50 votes against obamacare, the republican majority is now promising to fix the law. Just like when you try to murder someone 50 times, as and it doet work, so you buy them a gym m...

Stephen thanks for being here sorry, folks. Ive got to do this first. Thanks so much for being here. The show will start in just one minute. Sorry, folks, big freeze moving in. Im just putting down some salt. Dont need a lawsuit on my hands. And some pepper. cuz the weather outside is frightful. 200 million americans are in the middle of the cold snap today. 50 of the country blanketed in snow. This Minnesota Lake turned to solid ice a rare prethanksgiving deep freeze. Freezing temperatures in a...

These things unfolding, these episodes or anecdotes wherein the president seems to be at war not just with our cheers and applause stephen, stephen, stephen stephen, stephen, stephen stephen, stephen, stephen stephen, stephen, stephen stephen, stephen, stephen cheers and applause stephen welcome to the report good to have you with us good to have you cheers and applause ladies and gentlemen, please, sit down. Folks, folks, let me say colbert nation, on this night, i found the shofar to herald th...

Cheers and applause welcome to the report, everybody. Thank you so much. Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen stephen thank you so much. Good to have you with us. Folks cheers and applause thank you so much for being here. Good to have you with us. cheers and applause . Folks, it is always thank you for that greeting. You know i need it. I need your energy. The heroes the heros are always up for making the world a for the place. Thank you thank you for being here with us. That...

Stephen thank you, ladies and gentlemen welcome to the report good to have you with us audience chanting stephen thats the sound of freedom, ladies and gentlemen thank you so much please, sit down cheers and applause what did an amazing night, ladies and gentlemen cheers and applause folks, please have a seat. Good to have you with us. Lot to talk about tonight. Obviously, were going to be analyzing the ongoing geopolitical realignment of the middle east with andy cohen over cocktails. laughter ...

Stephen stephen stephen. Stephen oh, i cant fight that. But, folks, you know, if you watch this show, im not a prideful man. I always am the first to admit when im wrong, and once again, i am right. laughter applause this time its about obamacare. Folks, ive never liked it. First, they put a bureaucrat between and you your doctor, and the next thing you know the doctor and the bowercrat are hanging out all the time and voantly forget to call you the night they want to go see interstellar, and yo...

Happiness. laughter i still got it. laughter nine years later it still tastes just as rammy as ever. Nice thing about a dead ram horn, it only it only gets dead ramier. And folks, im already enjoying the traditional Rosh Hashanah treat known among the jewish people and i hope im pronouncing this correctly, apples and chhoney. It expresses our hope for a sweet new year. And Rosh Hashanah Rosh Hashanah is just the beginning of the jewish high holiday fun. From now until yom kippur marks the time o...