i don't hold a grudge against myself. the people who i hurt can hold a grudge against me. it's not easy to leave everything behind and change. there are things that remain. when someone looks at me, they can't imagine that i could be a football fan. i need to check the results straight away. it's not that i cut everything out. >> in fact, something rather unexpected that remains from pavel's old life. this picture on the mantelpiece. among all the other family pictures, there is pavel. giving the nazi salute. >> where you are today doesn't have to be where you are tomorrow. and i've discussed it with pavel. sometimes, he kind of even says that in moments, he surprises himself at his changes. says sometimes he looks in the mirror in the morning and says, he can't believe that's him because he remembers the old pavel.