happen. don't you feel like there's -- i feel like -- >> dana: like the president getting coronavirus wasn't big enough. >> greg: you know why? we're in this two-hour movie and we're only at the 100th minute. we haven't hit the final twitch. so i wrote some finals. here's one. nancy pelosi is actually her son who runs a desolate motel and he's been disguised as her since the 1980s. living in the attic. donald trump turns out to be barack obama's father who has been secretly running the rebel alliance. >> jesse: oh, god. >> greg: after many accusations of mail-in fraud, one of the experts opens up a ballot box and finds gwyneth paltrow's head. finally, joe biden is actually kaiser sosa. >> are you okay, greg? >> jesse: potentially -- a