freaked them out about possibly buying a home. if you have -- i had to talk to her about it quite a few times. i think if you have extreme debt of any kind, that's something that you should reveal to your partner. >> and you're saying after marriage, that's what this is about. if you co-mingle finances or oh. >> co-mingle, co mingle. you have to have the trust. you have to. other-wise, don't get married. you're one entity when you're married. you're a family. >> and a lot has changed it was two income families, two incomes coming into the household. changed this dynamic a lot in the recent decades. >> and -- >> i'm letting you know that that historically we're looking at -- >> sandra doesn't -- >> for gosh sake i'm not talking about my partial situation. that's for kennedy. >> my mom's generation says always have your own money and always have separate accounts. you can have a joint account but