Pardon me for being a holiday realist and wanting better than to prepare to mourn for more lives lost and join those who have lost their loved ones already because of the apathy and disregard of others during this global pandemic. I'm embarrassed to be an American right now. This isn't the time to play pretend games. It's time to hunker down and get serious already. How many lives need to be lost before more people care enough for this to be addressed properly? We need spaces to talk about what's going on My attendance at two death cafes on Thanksgiving was sobering. The reactions to our celebrations in the US were met with a gaping pause by the British communities I participated in discussion with. Among this group, there was heightened empathy for the communities that are being affected by the pandemic and jaw-dropping shock at the American way of denying and celebrating.