happens because a lot of people get intubated and never come out of it and i don't want that to be their last memory of me. >> did you talk to them? >> no, i didn't get intubated. >> having that thought. >> yeah, it's emotional now talking about it. the most important thing in my life is being a father. and so the idea of being in that moment and thinking i'm may not be able to continue to help guide my children. that's what i was thinking about was like all these different things in their life that will come that i may not be there for. like how do i give them advice now that will last them for a long time? and so those were the things i was thinking about at the time and that's scary and so, you know, i wanted to make sure at least i had the chance. >> what's it like to face your mortality like that in such an intense way? >> i mean, it's scary is the only word i can use.