and so my soldiers started to grumble and tell me, sir, i'm showing up in full battle rattle with a combat load. i've got my weapon and the low and ready. i'm asking these people to trust me when i don't trust them because so many times the taliban uses those guerrilla tactics of embedding and saying take out as many americans as you can during this meeting, and you're going to meet allah or i'm going to murder your entire family. then it builds mistrust between us and the people. that was something that was very frustrating for me, and it started to wear on my unit and me. we're losing our nation's blood and treasure, that was a hard pill to swallow. you train us to be fighters and then ask us to be nation builders, and we're forcing it down their throat. they had us doing a job that we were not trained to do. that's where i think it was