most people know where they came from. they know their history. they know their upbringing. i really don't. >> nice shot! >> that pain is with me every day. but i just choose not to think about it. i do want to experience things more emotionally. i want to be human. so i want to go back and understand why everything happened. and if i understand why it happened, i think that will help me -- help me move forward. so right now, i'm heading towards atlantic city, to meet with my second cousin, toby. atlantic city was my home. i was born there. i lived the first two years of my life there.